*stares at computer screen*
*dusts keyboard, looks at screen, shuffles papers, looks out window, watches guy in trucker hat and wife beater trip over planter while texting*
*looks at computer screen, cleans fingernails, checks twitter, switches back to wordpress tab, plays the drum solo from “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” with toes*
*stares at blank screen, rubs cat belly, looks up origination of the phrase “whole ball of wax,” smells armpit*
*puts hands over keyboard, practices “Five Years Time” whistle, tries to ignore wriggling parasite, watches cursor blink, picks up scrap of recycling paper, folds tiny origami kayak, adds “buy googly eyes” to to-do list*
*looks at blank screen*
*curses blinking cursor*
*slams head repeatedly into monitor*
Fuck it. I still got nothing. So here’s the trailer for the new Muppet Movie. Because how could that possibly not make any day better?
Sooo… You’re out of googly eyes?
See what happens with poor planning? I need a full-time intern to monitor googly eye inventory.
I hear that slamming your head repeatedly into a monitor leads to tripping over plants while texting.
….Apparently, I have nothing either.
It seems to be going around. Not unlike the clap.
I just like the fact that you can do the drum solo to Inna Gadda da Vida with your toes! *golf clap*
Well, I’m not sure anyone else could recognize it as such, but I get really into it. Or something.
Hey, at least I had rainbow and unicorn cookies.
You did. And I reveled in their beauty. Ohm.
Oh My MORGAN FREEMAN! Is it Thanksgiving yet?!
So. Far. Away.
Maybe if I watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall seventeen more times, I’ll be able go make it.
“Curses blinking cursor.” Now I fully understand why the cursor got its name.
And thanks. That did make my day better.
Kermis makes everything better. Except a plate of frog legs.
Oh by the way, Your Hair Looks Really Nice Today.
YAY! Five Years Time! Five Years Time! So excited!!
I’m trying. It’s harder than it ought to be. I might have to stall you a few weeks…
Good thing I adore you so.
dying of curiosity over the “whole ball of wax” origination. please elaborate. while you’re at it, would you mind looking into “pass the buck,” too?
Sadly I lost focus before I found a definitive answer. There was something about shoe makers and something about land deals and nothing about a wax which i found quite disappointing.
You’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.
That was the worst thing ever. And I’ve seen Enron the musical.
Thank you. Your hair looks smashing also. And your tits? Breathtaking. 🙂
*shimmies, instantly regrets it, ices tits down*
Wait. Are there Muppets in this movie?! (Love it)
All I did today was perfect my Wilhelm scream and watch Sid & Nancy.
I feel so useless.
Oh and by the way this Muppet Movie is going to rock.
*stares at computer screen*
*scrolls back up to re-read post*
*scrolls back down to reply box*
*eyes roam around the room for inspiration, observes the heavy layer of dust on the tv stand, wracks brain for witty bon mot regarding origami kayaks*
I got nothing. At least you got a real live parasite to take to the Muppet movie. And the rack to impress all his young friends.
I watched a guy almost get run over because he was texting while crossing the street. I even had time to wonder if the blood splatter would ruin my shirt. He got lucky- the car was nice and stopped.
Btw- my hair looks like crap today.
“fold tiny origami kayak”, I now have visions of you crafting tiny vaginas to decorate you keyboard.
Then my work here is done. 🙂
Amy Adams usually bugs the crap out of me, but I’m going to have to make an exception for this movie. I mean, it’s The Muppets, for cryin out loud! Plus, Hayden loves ’em.
I choose to believe your blog post title was a secret message to me, so thanks for the encouragement.
yessss!!!!!!! tit-talk. about buggin time!
*looks out window at London skyline*
*wishes (and this NEVER happens) that the skyline were different*
*feels like singing Memories but has no idea why*
*wishes she could buy you a cocktail*
*curses your parasite and its cocktail prohibiting existence*
*stares at piccie of Javier Bardem*
You can’t go wrong with Muppets.
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