I’m having a day. This kind of day*:
I blame my mortgage company. The story isn’t very good, so I’m not going to tell it to you. But seeing as how I have to go make a happy ending (oh shut it you pervs), I suddenly don’t have time to tell you that I recently discovered they make Spanx for men. And they don’t call them Manx. Frankly I can’t decide which of those facts is more appalling.
I did have time to write a Sprocket Piece though. Poor (and by “poor” I really mean “ridiculously wealthy and revered so don’t feel THAT bad for her”) Julie Taymor and the Spider-Man musical are getting trashed in an entirely new musical. Yay for catty, creative people!
*Thanks for the most perfect graphic ever, Deb!
What the hell are the manx undies supposed to do? Make the package perkier?
Do they come in cucumber, and zucchini sizes?
I wish I had a horn on top my head so I could stab people with it. You wouldn’t even have to smuggle it through customs because its an appendage!! Damn Unicorns. They have all the fun.
♥Spot
Glad you like the graphic! When I read your blog post title, I thought it said “Unicorns get shabby, too.” WTF? Maybe they also need their own brand of Spanx.
P.S. I hope your day improves.
I just hope some men will wear them so they know how it feels. Next they can start a man high-heel trend.
oh man. hope the mortgage people straighten up and fly right before you have to say “…and the unicorn you rode in on.”
i like men a bit more rugged looking or commando. just saying.
need me make those mortgage bitches cry? cuz i will if they fuck with my elly, rocco, and baby buggin.
I remember that scene from “When Mythical Creatures Attack!” It’s the same episode where Rod Stewart was impregnated by a school of time-travelling Sea Monkeys.
Best. Episode. EVA!
I mean, do spanx for men make their peens look huge? Because that’s what it looks like on the model…
Hmmm…perhaps those bankers need a pair of Man Spanx?
I will now imagine every man I see wearing Man Spanx under his clothes. Clearly, the manufacturers have found a way to deal with squashed weiner.
I’m with VB-I don’t get it. Don’t spanx minimize things? I’d like to meet the guy who needs his package minimized.
I have been looking at this post on my phone for days. It makes me so happy.
In an unrelated story I found spanx for my dog. The one that’s still alive.
Also, that’s a robot unicorn. No genuine mythical creature impales innocent bystanders. Except, of course, the minotaur. But he’s got his reasons and you shouldn’t have been in is underground labyrinth anyway.