Thom the Bald-tist

As a general rule, I’m not a very picture oriented blogger.  Sometimes though, words simply won’t suffice.  Last weekend was such a time.  Game on.

Thom and His Candle
Thom and His Candle
Dad in His Scrubs
Dad in His Scrubs

To the left is my little brother Thom.  People say we look A LOT alike.  I suppose it’s hard to tell in that picture, but just trust me.  People were very confused when Gwen and I dressed as Bo and Luke Duke for Halloween – and Thom tagged along as Daisy.  He’s always been the pretty one in the family.

To the right is my dad.  Adorable, right?  Easy ladies, my mom will slap a bitch if someone steps to her hubby.

Dad has had this same hairstyle since he was released from the Air Force about thirty-seven years ago.  The beard and fringe are a little grayer, but otherwise Dad has looked just like that for my entire existence.

Thom decided the best way to celebrate Dad’s retirement was through mimicking his appearance.  Remember what I said before about pictures being necessary?  Seriously, there are no words.

The Reverse Mohawk
The Reverse Mohawk
Then The Beard
Then The Beard

The End Result
The End Result

Oh but wait there’s more!  Once we had him shaved, he happily played dress up as we repeatedly crammed him into Dad’s too-small clothing.  He even hiked a pair of sweat pants up to his nipples for the full Dad effect.

High Rollers
High Rollers

Hey Ladies!
Hey Ladies!

Dressed for Success
Dressed for Success

Thom makes that ‘do look good, right?  Dad’s party was canceled due to the snow and tentatively rescheduled for this coming Saturday.  Despite our pleadings, Thom refused to maintain his new hairstyle for the week in between.  I have no idea why.

Mind you, this wasn’t the first time Thom shaved his head in support of his family.  We sat through our mohawks side by side.  He shaved his off when mine fell out.  (All the brothers did.)  Thom re-shaved his head every single time I got nuked.  Granted, he looked a little less silly completely bald than wearing that Friar Tuck Gone Bad look he planned to rock at the party.  Just thought you should know how sweet he is underneath that foul-mouthed, uni-bomber exterior.  (Like you haven’t already figured out how madly in love with my family I am.)

And now for the videos…

In this first video, we’re sitting at the kitchen table waiting for shower availability while listening to “Music of the Night” from Phantom of the Opera.  Right at that two second mark I screamed, “Interpretive Dance!”  I told you he was the pretty one in the family.

This one…is…just…another example of where words won’t suffice.  That thing on his shirt is a piece of bread.  Yes, we were out in public.

I know, I know – this probably isn’t as funny to people that don’t know Thom as it is to me.  Forgive the self-indulgences.  I just need to have these things somewhere easy access for when I need a pick-me-up and its too early for cocktails.

…and Ladies?  He’s VERY single.  Let me know if you want his digits.


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Comments

  1. Are you kidding me? that’s hilarious – I don’t have to know him. I laughed my ass off, the first time I’ve laughed today, thank you very much. I think it seriously takes a pair of steel to shave your head like that. Bummer he didn’t keep it all week.

  2. Thom the Bald-tist sounds very funny. (He takes after his sister!) I especially liked the interpretive dance.

    *Applause!*

    (p.s. I made up for being a reading slacker yesterday by reading all the links to old posts.)

  3. Aww, I love family gatherings that involve sheep shearers. Nothing keeps a family together like hair loss 😉

    My dad shaved his head in solidarity when my big bro underwent surgery to remove a brain tumour (family joke: It’s not a tumour…uh, yes, it is. *hysterical laughter*).

    Good times…good times 😀

    (big bro is ok now with ‘ok’ being relative to his previous personality <—- he'd swat me for typing that, or just give me the finger…because that's what brothers do, right?)
    .-= lagunatic´s last blog ..Gelatinous goo. =-.

  4. Too funny Elly. My brother swore to everyone that he didn’t really agree to leave for the National Guard while I was having chemo, my mom forced him to go because he didn’t voluntarily shave his head when my hair started to fall out.
    So then for a couple of years my son, who was very young, told ppl his g-ma might send them away if they didn’t do what she told them to do. LMAO. Took us a while to make the connection.
    .-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..Wicked List of Good and Not So Good Ideas =-.

  5. I MISSED THIS?!? Oh man, can you just call me when you’re about to post something this awesome? I’m in the phone book.

    From a male perspective, Thom sounds like someone I’d take in as a permanent friend. That means I’d bail him out of jail someday, or help him move in the rain. Tell him I said so. Then tell him my name is Fiddlestix McDonkeypuncher. I think he’ll dig that.
    .-= KeepingYouAwake´s last blog ..I’m Getting Stupidr =-.

  6. scarily, I looked at the picture of Thom on the left, then I read the first line that said “People say we look a LOT alike, then I looked at the picture on the right and thought to myself “S***, I thought he was a girl!” Then I realised that it was a picture of your DAD, not you!

    Phew!

    I love how you say ” He’s VERY single.” because looking at the way those trackie dacks are higher at the front than the back when he does his impromptu dance… I have a brother who in a completely different way, is totally the same.

    But he sounds like the best brother anyone can have, supportive, loving, funny.
    .-= pixielation´s last blog ..buses, brats and bogs =-.

  7. Will he be touring the South anytime soon? I’d hire him to do interpretive dance to the mariachi band I plan to have play “Take This Job And Shove It!” on the street of my building when I can finally free myself, but I just don’t think I can wait that long!

    Seriously, does he have his own blog? And once I get a blogroll up and running do can I include your awesomeness?! Really there’s no reason to have a blogroll otherwise.

    1. Aw shucks! I’d be flattered AND honored. I look forward to mutual stalking.

      No Thom doesn’t have his own blog – though I keep trying to talk him into blogging more on here. One of these days I’ll get him hooked…

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