As a general rule, I’m not a very picture oriented blogger. Sometimes though, words simply won’t suffice. Last weekend was such a time. Game on.
To the left is my little brother Thom. People say we look A LOT alike. I suppose it’s hard to tell in that picture, but just trust me. People were very confused when Gwen and I dressed as Bo and Luke Duke for Halloween – and Thom tagged along as Daisy. He’s always been the pretty one in the family.
To the right is my dad. Adorable, right? Easy ladies, my mom will slap a bitch if someone steps to her hubby.
Dad has had this same hairstyle since he was released from the Air Force about thirty-seven years ago. The beard and fringe are a little grayer, but otherwise Dad has looked just like that for my entire existence.
Thom decided the best way to celebrate Dad’s retirement was through mimicking his appearance. Remember what I said before about pictures being necessary? Seriously, there are no words.
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Oh but wait there’s more! Once we had him shaved, he happily played dress up as we repeatedly crammed him into Dad’s too-small clothing. He even hiked a pair of sweat pants up to his nipples for the full Dad effect.
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Thom makes that ‘do look good, right? Dad’s party was canceled due to the snow and tentatively rescheduled for this coming Saturday. Despite our pleadings, Thom refused to maintain his new hairstyle for the week in between. I have no idea why.
Mind you, this wasn’t the first time Thom shaved his head in support of his family. We sat through our mohawks side by side. He shaved his off when mine fell out. (All the brothers did.) Thom re-shaved his head every single time I got nuked. Granted, he looked a little less silly completely bald than wearing that Friar Tuck Gone Bad look he planned to rock at the party. Just thought you should know how sweet he is underneath that foul-mouthed, uni-bomber exterior. (Like you haven’t already figured out how madly in love with my family I am.)
And now for the videos…
In this first video, we’re sitting at the kitchen table waiting for shower availability while listening to “Music of the Night” from Phantom of the Opera. Right at that two second mark I screamed, “Interpretive Dance!” I told you he was the pretty one in the family.
This one…is…just…another example of where words won’t suffice. That thing on his shirt is a piece of bread. Yes, we were out in public.
I know, I know – this probably isn’t as funny to people that don’t know Thom as it is to me. Forgive the self-indulgences. I just need to have these things somewhere easy access for when I need a pick-me-up and its too early for cocktails.
…and Ladies? He’s VERY single. Let me know if you want his digits.
Too early for cocktails? You need a new clock my dear. One permanently stuck on ‘It’s 5:00 Somewhere.’ Maybe for Christmas next year (winking and slurring your way)
.-= Miss Spoken´s last blog ..Car Thieves, Cattle Prods and Shotguns: Welcome to Nevada =-.
I might just embroider that on a pillow! More likely I’ll sharpie it onto the back of my hand.
Hard to believe your brother is single. He should highlight his skillful tongue dexterity on Plentyoffish.com.
.-= Debra She Who Seeks´s last blog ..A Wonderful Giveaway Win =-.
I don’t want him reading about Vaginal Mints. That just can’t end well for any of us.
Very graceful dancing, really. From now on you must refer to him as “twinkletoes,” please. And imitation is the highest form of flattery right? Love the pics!
.-= Andrea´s last blog .."You can’t always get what you want" =-.
I showed Dad the video and he was all, “He doesn’t really get very high on his toes – maybe he should practice more.”
I think Bald Jesus would be offended.
Dude. Now I want to watch The Hangover again. “Not you, bald Jesus.”
Are you kidding me? that’s hilarious – I don’t have to know him. I laughed my ass off, the first time I’ve laughed today, thank you very much. I think it seriously takes a pair of steel to shave your head like that. Bummer he didn’t keep it all week.
Speaking of balls, I’m just glad they limited their matching hair grooming to the hair on their heads.
Thom the Bald-tist sounds very funny. (He takes after his sister!) I especially liked the interpretive dance.
*Applause!*
(p.s. I made up for being a reading slacker yesterday by reading all the links to old posts.)
He’s available for parties.
The badass friar tuck… awesome.
.-= mepsipax´s last blog ..Hump Day hate =-.
…and you’re still not allowed to meet him. Or meat him. So there.
Light on his feet, for a tall fella, isn’t he?
I love when people are in love with their family. It’s one of my favorite things to read.
.-= Steam Me Up, Kid´s last blog ..I, Asshool. =-.
We might have to have a brother-off one of these days!
Even I have to admit that sounded disgusting.
How can someone just jump up and break into such a thought provoking interpretive dance? Utterly graceful and without so much as a second to think about it. Spontaneous genius. I have no words for the second one. Your brother in a word? Awesome. But I think you already know that.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..My Mom is Going to Kick Your Mom’s Ass at BlogHer 2010. =-.
He spent many years trying to choreograph numbers to Janet Jackson songs with his sister I’m afraid.
Aww, I love family gatherings that involve sheep shearers. Nothing keeps a family together like hair loss 😉
My dad shaved his head in solidarity when my big bro underwent surgery to remove a brain tumour (family joke: It’s not a tumour…uh, yes, it is. *hysterical laughter*).
Good times…good times 😀
(big bro is ok now with ‘ok’ being relative to his previous personality <—- he'd swat me for typing that, or just give me the finger…because that's what brothers do, right?)
.-= lagunatic´s last blog ..Gelatinous goo. =-.
That’s fantastic! Thom liked to elbow me when I’d sit down and say, “I’m sorry Miss – this is a non-tumor section.”
The Sweats…oh my god the sweat pants. HILARIOUS.
Also they look really uncomfortable.
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday??? =-.
He was rockin’ the moose knuckle pretty hard.
Too funny Elly. My brother swore to everyone that he didn’t really agree to leave for the National Guard while I was having chemo, my mom forced him to go because he didn’t voluntarily shave his head when my hair started to fall out.
So then for a couple of years my son, who was very young, told ppl his g-ma might send them away if they didn’t do what she told them to do. LMAO. Took us a while to make the connection.
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..Wicked List of Good and Not So Good Ideas =-.
If you’re any indicator, I’m betting his g-ma is still quite a handful.
Love the hair. And the pants. And the bread on the shirt. Sexy. So sexy.
I’m getting hot.
Going to ask my husband to shave his head. RIGHT NOW.
.-= Amanda@BrilliantSulk´s last blog ..Weirdo Wednesday =-.
I wonder if I could get Thom to pair some zebra wellies with his sweat pant ensemble…
I think I’m traumatised!! Very funny… makes me kinda miss my family and that is saying something ;0)
.-= Eternally Distracted´s last blog ..Special Today – No Service =-.
He also wears skirts. Often. And tiaras.
totally enjoyable but alas, no pics of daisy?
I have a great one! But since my hard drive died I can’t get to it. *sigh*
You’d be surprised how hard it is to find someone with a firewire port.
HAAAAAA!!!! Loved it!!!! Words, pictures AND video !!!! I feel like I should pay you for all of this entertainment.!!!!
I will be thinking about the Interpretive Dance all day!!
.-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..Never Too Old For A Sticker =-.
I accept all denominations of wine.
I MISSED THIS?!? Oh man, can you just call me when you’re about to post something this awesome? I’m in the phone book.
From a male perspective, Thom sounds like someone I’d take in as a permanent friend. That means I’d bail him out of jail someday, or help him move in the rain. Tell him I said so. Then tell him my name is Fiddlestix McDonkeypuncher. I think he’ll dig that.
.-= KeepingYouAwake´s last blog ..I’m Getting Stupidr =-.
I think Maggie was dating a Fiddlestix McDonkeypuncher last we chatted. I wonder if you two are related. It’s just such a common name….
scarily, I looked at the picture of Thom on the left, then I read the first line that said “People say we look a LOT alike, then I looked at the picture on the right and thought to myself “S***, I thought he was a girl!” Then I realised that it was a picture of your DAD, not you!
Phew!
I love how you say ” He’s VERY single.” because looking at the way those trackie dacks are higher at the front than the back when he does his impromptu dance… I have a brother who in a completely different way, is totally the same.
But he sounds like the best brother anyone can have, supportive, loving, funny.
.-= pixielation´s last blog ..buses, brats and bogs =-.
I’m so sad that my family is not the funniest family on the blogosphere anymore. Because Thom totally wins it for you guys. Hands down. But I sincerely hope my son grows up just like him.
This post made my tummy hurt from laughing too hard.
♥Spot
.-= Spot´s last blog ..I hope it’s not chicken. Or ham. Is there going to be alcohol? =-.
I haven’t laughed that loud at work in a long, LONG time! If he were anywhere near Texas I’d be beggin’ for those digits. Sexiest Dance EVER!
He’s single. And available for parties. Let me know if you change your mind…
Will he be touring the South anytime soon? I’d hire him to do interpretive dance to the mariachi band I plan to have play “Take This Job And Shove It!” on the street of my building when I can finally free myself, but I just don’t think I can wait that long!
Seriously, does he have his own blog? And once I get a blogroll up and running do can I include your awesomeness?! Really there’s no reason to have a blogroll otherwise.
Aw shucks! I’d be flattered AND honored. I look forward to mutual stalking.
No Thom doesn’t have his own blog – though I keep trying to talk him into blogging more on here. One of these days I’ll get him hooked…