This Week’s Tweets

  • Today is a day for grilled cheeses, cheerful movies, and complete denial – not necessarily in that order. #
  • Real baby giraffes are almost as cute as miniature lap giraffes. Which allegedly aren't real. Whatevs. — #
  • For my next trick, I will cover every square inch of surface area on this couch with only my body and a throw. Tah dah. #
  • You should eat eggs for breakfast instead of paint chips. It's healthier. True story. — @sprocketink #
  • I don't get offended often. Mark today down in your calendar as a historic day. Also? Get me something to stab. #
  • Does Snooki remind you of Yoda, or is it just me? @sprocketink #
  • Mildred is proposing another means to escape this apartment. #
  • This day can blow me. Is it too early to just go to bed and try again tomorrow? #
  • This isn't making my headache any better. Poor, defiled unicorn. — #
  • You know who just joined Twitter and makes me want to sing Safety Dance while wearing shiny nylon? @SaladMurderer Follow her. STAT. #FF #
  • Dear @actuallynph, I'm here – row AA, seat 10. Just in case you're up for a quick non-sexual smooch mid performance. #
  • So far? *swoon* And I'm still in my seat, just in case, @actuallynph. #


  1. I love your tweets! They are like little snippets of Elly goodness throughout my day. Almost like lollipops only without the sticky and they don’t give me cavities. That totally made sense, right?


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