This Week’s Tweets

  • Unless Betty White just walked through here with a goblet filled with glitter, I may have just dozed off a moment. #
  • Meanwhile I hear it's snowing back in Jersey. #
  • Off to water aerobics with Mom. I hate to admit how much that gaggle of old ladies kicked my ass earlier in the week. #
  • I keep finding photos like this on my phone. I'm pretty sure Herbert is sexting Isabella. #
  • I can hardly smell New Jersey over all the chicken biscuits and hush puppies I just smuggled across state lines. #
  • Phone, wallet, vagina…that's all I need for my doctor appt, right? #
  • Why is it impossible for me to look away from street vomit? (And no, it wasn't mine.) #

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