This Week’s Tweets

  • I still don't understand what a dancing robot has to do with football. #
  • Just when the Black Swan nightmares were finally stopping… #
  • It never ceases to amuse me how often people search for "bride on fire" in a given week. #
  • Most depressing day of the year? @20prospect's virtual mix tape will help! Even if he picked the wrong Sonic Youth song: #
  • Holy mother of massengil I'm not leaving my apartment again until May. #
  • "You look like a unicorn in a neglige." #
  • Outside it's all freezing rain and snow piles, inside it's all mint chocolate chip brownies and down comforters. #Ain #039;tNoWayI'mLeaving #
  • This is starting to get creepy. Are they following me? #
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  • Now they've somehow broken into my building. #
  • If eavesdropping on lovers' quarrels is wrong, I don't wanna be right. Especially not when there's a fiesty drag queen involved. #
  • Oh yay. My very first rejection letter. *grumble* #
  • This just in: Ukuleles cure cancer and I have the best readers on the internet. #fuckcancer #
  • Funny how when they show home improvement shows on HGTV, there's never any bleeding. Clearly I'm doing something wrong. #


  1. I have a theory about the TV carcasses that seem to be following you around. Remember the 40 Year old Virgin? Do you have an ex who works at Smart Tech (Best Buy)? I think you might have a stalker (a harmless one who collects action figures). Good luck with that.
    (I apologize. As usual I have no idea what I’m talking about when I make these pointless comments but I press submit anyway.)

  2. The TV phenomenon is kind of bizarre. Perhaps you’re part of an independent documentary where they plague you with TV’s for a year and see what it does to you mentally. If you think it’s a sign and it makes you change your life in some way or it makes you go postal in a couple of weeks or you get scared because they’re following you and wet yourself every time Rocco turns yours on. Hmmm..

    Oh, and can you sign this release so I can use you in my…

    *nervous laugh*

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