This Week’s Tweets

  • Mom tried to teach me crochet once. We DID NOT make these. — Forest Gump Meets Pulp Fiction @craftastrophe #
  • Some days you gotta go ahead and spill the entire cup of tea on the sofa so you can see just how much it will absorb. *sigh* #
  • Mildred managed to snag a stitch and decided to recreate a scene from The Shining. Don't worry. She's fine. My couch, not so much. #
  • I wanna know what love is. #
  • Never quote random 80's lyrics at your little brother unless your ready for it to turn into commentary on your mother's lady bits. #
  • Also never update from your cell phone while getting slapped by a sibling. #GrammarIsHardBarbie #
  • I'm pretty sure this makes me famous. Ish. Thanks, @HippestSnippets. RT The hippest hump day of the week! #
  • If you missed the best video in the history of all time, I'm posting it AGAIN. It will make you #FURIOUSLYHAPPY #
  • My fire alarm is LOUD. If you're keeping count, that makes TWO kitchen fires today. Will someone please take me out for dinner? #
  • I'm declaring this my official theme song for the day. I #
  • I vacuumed up the ashes, opened all the windows, and found the fire extinguisher. Time to try turning on the oven again… #
  • …and they day starts out strong with surprise free tix to see Patrick Stewart on Broadway! Wonder if I'll get a chance to lick Jean Luc. #
  • Happy Birthday to me. #


  1. Wow! That week had everything! Crocheted gimps, cone kitty and a bloody couch, Foreigner, sibling slapping, a diss on Barbie, fame, the best video ever, a crescendo of kitchen fires, Patrick Stewart AND a birthday!

    I would have called it a week after the crocheted gimps! But then I can think of nothing that creeps me out more so…

    Hope you had a crazy good birthday!

  2. your tweets always make me want to tweet more, and then I remember how scary and overwhelming twitter is. it gives me panic attacks.
    I just pretend I use twitter because all the cool kids are doing it.

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