This Week’s Tweets

  • This is what my teeth feel like after eating spinach. RT I Sure Hope There Isn’t Any Fungus Involved @craftastrophe #
  • It's almost noon and not one single person has handed me a unicorn or a cocktail today. Reality sucks. #
  • RT @craftastrophe Sorry, Bugs – Quite possibly the most horrifying craftastrophe of all time. #
  • Dear PMS, no we can't have potato chips and french onion dip for breakfast. I caved on the cupcake, but I have to draw the line somewhere. #
  • Scored free tickets to the preview of Trust with Zach Braff! Hopefully I'll get a chance to motor boat him. #
  • How am I supposed to get anything done when someone makes the mistake of giving me the password for their google calendar? #
  • If PMS demands a cupcake and you feed it kale…well let's just say this isn't going well. #
  • Let the bachelorette shenanigans begin! First stop? Private pole dancing classes. I'm gonna break a limb. #
  • Do you think arnica works on stripper pole burn? #
  • Thinking about jumping on a stripper pole tonight? Read my cautionary tale first. #
  • You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia. #


  1. I once tried to slip steamed brocoli past PMS when it was demanding Mexican food. In retaliation it stopped my period at the gate, causing a pregnancy scare and thus a stress-induced face-plant into a vat of refried beans. PMS is a tricky bitch.

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