This Week’s Tweets

  • Um, Itunes? What happened to all my music? There's no way I have the same number of Police songs as I do Rod Stewart songs. Boo. Hiss. #
  • Everyone should own a handbag that occasionally needs waxing: The Purssy @craftastrophe #
  • Why is it that every time I send someone a link, their first response is, "Will I get fired?" I'm getting a bad rep. #
  • I know it's gross, but sometimes (like a perfect rainy afternoon) I like to stand in the gutter and feel the water rush over my flip flops. #
  • Out at a bar and overheard from frat boy dude, "What?! I watch Glee!" *stern looks from his friends* "Last season, not THIS season. #
  • Should one let a bottle of red wine "breathe" before pouring it into an aluminum bottle and shoving it in one's purse? #
  • Started the evening with Sushi. Now it's time for genital origami. #
  • I just passed up the chance to have drinks with a penis puppeteer. What was I thinking? #
  • Dear Drunk Dude, call me sweetheart one more time and I will punch you in the face. Further regretting my earlier decision. #
  • Is it a full moon or something? Just had some guy tail me for a block while talking to Lord Vader on his phone. #GetMeOutOfManhattanSTAT #
  • Moments after getting paid by @craftastrophe I found this on Etsy. Quick, someone be my enabler and tell me to buy it. #


  1. Once again, you’re one of the very few people who’s Tweets I actually enjoy. Sometimes I read people’s tweets and want to tweet back STFU! Of course, I don’t.


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