This Week’s Tweets

  • Dear NYC Bomber, I work hard to score free tickets to Broadway shows. Stop trying to make me miss them. Especially when I'm sans phone. #
  • Haven't picked up a gift for Mother's Day yet? I've got your back…well, your mandible, really. @craftastrophe #
  • Day four no cell phone. Feeling mildly homicidal. #
  • *sung to my phone* Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you… #
  • Cinco de Mayo always makes me nervous – what if all those people I owe Margaritas to suddenly want to collect? I'm not FDIC insured. #
  • Today I will not (yet again) confuse it's and its. *sigh* #HappyISuckLessThanYesterdayDay @TheBloggess #
  • It's lovely. I think I even used "it's" right. #
  • I just spotted Elvis in Chelsea. He is not aging well, but he can still rock the leather. #
  • Bryant Park. Chocolate twist ice cream cone. Ella Fitzgerald. Hells to the yeah. #
  • I just can't get used to turning on every single light in my apartment before walking out the door. #OpenHouse #EnvironmentalistInHell #
  • Grocery shopping on a Saturday makes me want to sew my uterus shut. #


  1. Grocery shopping, on any day, makes me want to throw my uterus to the ground and tap dance on it. There is nothing worse than grocery shopping. Okay, maybe there are a few worse things, but I still really hate grocery shopping.
    .-= Andrea´s last blog .."Karma Police" =-.

  2. You should try grocery shopping on Senior Wednesdays.
    The lethal combination of the super old and the super young is enough to cause people to instantly burst into all consuming flames.
    All that combustion plus lack of control over their bowels (old and young alike)is a real hazard.
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Facebook Used In Devious Revenge Plot =-.

  3. And if you want to not only sew your uterus shut but also rescind your American citizenship and renounce processed food, hit your local Costco on a Tuesday afternoon. It’s the perfect combo of scary and sad. Plus, fro-yo!

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