This Week’s Tweets

  • Whoever came up with that "slept like a baby" line obviously never met a baby. Also they should be punched in the bits. Hard. #
  • A breakfast of Earl Grey and chocolate chip cheesecake. Take THAT rainy Monday. #
  • Not in my backyard utensils! #
  • AVOCADO!!!! #
  • I've done extensive research these past 8 months and can refute The Mamas and The Papas. The darkest hour is actually 3 hrs before dawn. #
  • Those 45 mins where I thought I might actually pull off leaving the house alone and seeing @TheBloggess at her book signing were amazing. #
  • Just had a two hour nap AND the first shower of the month! I'm ready to tackle to world. Or at least the laundry. Maybe. #
  • Most consistent thought I have when looking at this kid? "Animatronics are so weird." #
  • Oh HEY Vodka. Haven't seen you in…like…17 months. How YOU doin'? #
  • Dyyyaaaawwannnnnaaaknoooowaahseeeecret? #MaybeTakeTheVodkaAwayNow #
  • It's exhausting being this classy. (Also gratuitous boobs. Sorry.) #


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