This Week’s Tweets

  • To infinity and beyond! Or maybe just Manhattan. That seems a little more manageable. #
  • So it would appear my inability to walk without waddling is due to a cranium in my crotch. And this is good news. I'll celebrate with a nap. #
  • Who has two thumbs, a uterus that doubles as a sack full of elbows, and an agent? #
  • Personally, I'm holding out for the Dusty Muffin flavor. Ben & Jerry's Introduces 'Schweddy Balls' Ice Cream Flavor — #
  • I really don't understand why I'm supposed to be excited about the new shoe from Nike. I don't see any glitter. What am I missing? #
  • It's official. I'm incapable of painting anything without dragging my belly all through the paint. Even my toes. As if I can reach my toes. #