Mom: So we’re off to Oregon tomorrow. I keep asking your father what the weather will be like but he’s not very specific.
Dad: How would I know what the weather will be like?
Mom: You used to live there.
Dad: No, I didn’t. I was in Spokane. That’s the complete other side of the state.
Me: Sorry, Pops, but that’s still a lot closer than Illinois. I totally forgot you lived out there!
Dad: But I gave up on her and settled for your mother.