My attention span is getting shorter than my length of time between pees, so I’m going to distract you with the fantastic-ness that people send me.
First, the cute. Patty Punker gave me this. I was going to originally wait and snap a pic with Paul in it, but based on those latest photos of THE OVERLORD, I thought perhaps we’d just go ahead and enjoy the onesie sans outtakes from horror films.
Well that’s too hard to read, ain’t it? Let me embiggen it for you.
I know. Adoraballs. Just like Patty herself.
Second, the funny. It seems all my vagina talk is starting to wear off on the normally demure Melissa. I need to host a cocktail party STAT so I can whip these bad boys out. Maybe I’ll wait until I can drink, too. Damnit Paul, GET OUT ALREADY.
On second thought, maybe don’t get out. Otherwise I won’t still have the box my virginity came in, but more of an over-sized gift bag. Sexy.
Lastly, the awesome. I’m not sure how I didn’t know until last night that this book existed, but now it’s like a whole new world has opened up before me and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to get anything else done until I’ve rabidly consumed every page of this thing. Of course it was a gift from the girl that is currently banging my little brother. I like her. AND she bakes.
From the dust jacket:
Which is better, the zombie or the unicorn?
JUSTINE LARBALESTIER says that zombies are our own waking deaths. Funny, grim, and terrifying, they cannot be escaped. Unicorns are sparkly and pastel and fart rainbows.
HOLLY BLACK says that unicorns are healers, arbiters of justice, and, occasionally, majestic man-killers. Zombies drool and shed and probably carry disease.
Some of today’s finest writers have chosen their side, creating dazzling stories about both creatures. So read on, and decide for yourself:
ARE YOU TEAM ZOMBIE OR TEAM UNICORN?
And this is what the book cover looks like underneath the dust jacket:
Is anybody else panting with excitement? There’s a chapter entitled “The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn!” Doesn’t that seem more pertinent to my situation than…say…plowing through another chapter of “What to Expect the First Year?” Yeah, that’s what I thought, too.
That onesie is adorable but when it comes to pure unadulterated AWESOME… it’s the inside of that dust jacket!
Team Zombie here. My zombie could eat your unicorn for breakfast and spit out the horn too.
Oh I’m so aggressive.
Cute onesie though, Patty rocks! And knows the truth.
I’ve been told that unicorns and zombies effectively cancel each other out due to their opposing life force/lack of life force natures. That might mean that this book will spontaneously combust in a volatile manner when you start to read. Be very careful.
Unicorn. Not because of their sparklyness but because unicorns will ultimately win. Because adults can’t see them, because they can heal each other, because they can jump and run, AND because they grow their own weapon, unicorns are the ultimate ninja warriors. All humans need are some 8-year-old girls to serve as liaison to the unicorn hunter-killer brigades and we’re good to go.
They should have asked me before writing the book but then there would have been no reason to actually write it.
I can see you reading that book to your spawn. It kind of scares me.
Awesome gifts from awesome peeps. And that book will be so much better than “Goodnight Moon” for a little baby-bedtime reading.
I SAW THAT BOOK IN THE BOOK STORE LAST WEEK AND SQUEEEEED LOUDLY, FREAKING OUT MY S.O.!!!
Awesome gifts! Put me down for Team Unicorn, BTW.
I am surprised not that book was not written by one of the people that frequent this joint! You should have more babies. Look at all the cool presents you got? When I was pregnant, all I got was… I did not even get a stupid t-shirt!
Sequel idea: Zombies vs. Jersey Shore.
My Mommy is blogging this…. classic! Love it!
Sequel idea… Zombies Vs Nancy Grace.
Wow, this book looks weird! I’m interested already. I saw your blog in the Blog of Notes section. I’m glad I found it as I’ve never thought of considering incorporating those two unnatural beings together.
Must… find… book…
All in all, you got some really cool gifts there.
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