Apparently it's going to take me more than three months to not squirm at the "m word." And no, I don't mean moist. So. I've been a...*cough*...a mo...*swallow*...a moth...*cough, cough*...a mothe...*ahem*...a MOTHER (there I said it!) for three months. Three months. THREE. MONTHS. (Hey, Jenny Slater.) Also? Please don't expect…