Him: So you know how sometimes I go and book the flights for our vacations without telling you? Me: *blank stare* Him: And then you get really mad. And then you get excited. And then you figure out all the hotels and restaurants and things to see? Me: We are…
The Second Oldest Profession
Rocco: You look nice this morning. Me: No. Rocco: *waggles eyebrows* Me: No. Rocco: *jerks head towards bedroom* Me: No. Rocco: I didn't even ask anything yet. Me: No. Rocco: Let's go in the other room and ravage each other. Me: No. Rocco: No? Are you sure? Me: *stare* Rocco: …
Blue Balled
My feet were on the floor before I could fully register the sound. The fuck? I was sure I'd heard a crash. The lamps on the bedside table had rattled, hadn't they? My water glass scraped against the stone coaster, right? Could it have been another earthquake? Or was that…