Forget Lindsay Lohan. Forget Charlie Sheen. You know who I want to party with? Paula Deen, y'all. Who else can take a ham to the face and just keep on laughing? And her time management skills are pretty darn solid. Unlike a certain girl that just spent forty-five minutes trying…
Colored Pictures, Uncolored Cake
An embarrassingly long time ago, I started a little something I called my Portrait Project. I had all these grandiose plans of blazing through a portrait a week, solving world hunger, and somehow sculpting my arms into perfect replicas of Michelle Obama's guns. Four months later, I'm way behind on…
I’m the Best Wife EVAH!
Can you guess what I gave Rocco yesterday? Candies? Flowers? Lingerie? An oversized baby pink greeting card? A blow job? Hells no! I made my husband a bacon bouquet for Valentines Day. I know. I fucking rule. I'll just wait here while you ladies curse your lack of me-ness and…