If I ever win a Tony, I sure do hope it's a year when NPH is hosting. I've already planned my acceptance. First, I'll lick my award - Paula Deen style, y'all. Then, I'll forgo a formal acceptance speech and dedicate my window of time to presenting a clear, concise…
Destination Happy Place (a.k.a. Justin Timberlake’s Lap)
I've officially achieved a whole new level of crabby. Rocco: Good morning, beautiful. Me: Fuck you. I can't decide if it's day seven of consecutive overcast skies, hormones, delayed moving dates, aching joints, tornadoes, an impending visit with Aloysius, the lack of floating people on Saturday, my failed hard drive,…
I’m Growing a Penis
First and foremost, I have good news. The parasite has a brain, a heart, two kidneys, two lungs, a liver...all those things you hope a human being will have. So yay. Second, the other news: As the sonogram goop started to dry around the edges of my gut, the technician…