Reconnaissance Mission

Doctor:  So your baby is in the 90th percentile. Me:  Fuck. Doctor:  There are certain risks for a vaginal birth with a baby of this size. Me:  *deep breath* Doctor:  Even if you can pass the head, you've still got to contend with the shoulders.  They can be damaged when…

As Stephen Lynch Would Say

Mom:  So how did the sonogram go? Me:  Ok.  He's only "slightly above average."  Once she was actually able to process what I asked, the doctor confirmed he is NOT Jabba The Baby. Mom:  Well both you and Thom were almost 10 lbs. Me:  I feel like maybe you've mentioned…