Rocco: You look nice this morning. Me: No. Rocco: *waggles eyebrows* Me: No. Rocco: *jerks head towards bedroom* Me: No. Rocco: I didn't even ask anything yet. Me: No. Rocco: Let's go in the other room and ravage each other. Me: No. Rocco: No? Are you sure? Me: *stare* Rocco: …
Blue Balled
My feet were on the floor before I could fully register the sound. The fuck? I was sure I'd heard a crash. The lamps on the bedside table had rattled, hadn't they? My water glass scraped against the stone coaster, right? Could it have been another earthquake? Or was that…
The M Word
Apparently it's going to take me more than three months to not squirm at the "m word." And no, I don't mean moist. So. I've been a...*cough*...a mo...*swallow*...a moth...*cough, cough*...a mothe...*ahem*...a MOTHER (there I said it!) for three months. Three months. THREE. MONTHS. (Hey, Jenny Slater.) Also? Please don't expect…