Gwen: Is that it? Me: *lifts bottle of breast milk, looks at liquid level, looks back at Gwen, nods* That's probably not the nicest thing to say to a newly-breastfeeding, hormone-filled bitch trying to satiate all 10lbs of Paulie the Boob Slayer. Gwen: But you were up there pumping for…
Did I Miss Orientation?
I am the worst pregnant chick ever. "How many weeks are you again?" my friend Gwen asked just the other day. "I'm pretty sure I'm in the second trimester," was the most specific answer I could give her. Thank goodness I signed up for one of those newsletter thingies that…
I Can’t Even Remember What “Take” We’re On Anymore
So just to summarize the week so far: I watched a "comedy" that left me sobbing, I forgot my vagina story, and instead of finding a loving supportive group, I discovered I'm one of a whopping three people that vacuums their oven. And I haven't even told you about my…