I had dinner with two of my three brothers last night. I thought for sure I'd have a fantastic blog this morning because those fuckers are hysterical, right? RIGHT? Denied. It's like they're TRYING to thwart my aspirations to have one single coherent and mildly amusing post this week. Fuckers.…
Alien Life Forms
John (in the corner, wrestling with the champagne): Damnit! Everyone Else (screaming along with the TV): TEN...NINE... Me: You OK over there John? John (visibly panicked): I can't get it open! Everyone Else: SEVEN...SIX...FIVE... Rocco: Where's the remote? Somebody pause it! Yup. It's like THAT already. 2010 will officially be…
Sticky Situation
Any squeamish men should stop reading now. I don't like to complain. (I can already hear my siblings and mother smothering their guffaws at that statement, but roll with me, people.) I mean, I'm pleased as punch that my pubes grew back in and Aunt Flow is visiting routinely again. …