You know how last week I told you about all the awesome good things you could do with your money instead of buy holiday gifts? Well I really meant it, but sometimes you still have to come up with actual gifts for the peeps on your shopping lists. So in the interest of making your last minute shopping a little easier, let me bleach my hair, slip on a blue apron dress, and get my Maria on while I list some of my favorite things.
Keel’s Simple Diary
I just received one of this magical wonders from the world famous SubWow and I can’t stop swimming in it’s fabulosity. The metallic edged pages of this enchanting little gem are filled with quirky quotes, guides to categorizing your day, and lessons in listening. It’s the perfect gift for any creative type on your list.
T-shirts
I have a t-shirt obsession if you haven’t yet noticed. My two favorite shops at the moment are SharingMachine and Threadless. I just bought this beauty for Rocco. Be careful though because shirts at both shops tend to run small. At least the chick shirts do. I blame boobs. ‘Cause it certainly couldn’t be the result of excessive cheesecake consumption. *sigh*
Mittens
As you may or may not have heard, I hate the cold. HATE. But I never have any gloves. That’s not true. Around this time every year I cave and buy myself a pair of gloves, like these. Then around January 4th, I lose one. I get so mad at myself I refuse to buy another pair because I swear I’ll never learn unless I have to really sit and think about what I’ve done. So while it’s possible I’m overly obsessed with warm things on hands, (ahem) I think everyone could use another pair of gloves. Except amputees. And snakes. Stop talking, Elly.
John Denver & The Muppets: A Christmas Together
Best. Christmas. Album. Ever. It’s not the holidays until you’ve listened to Gonzo explain to Miss Piggy that figgy pudding is made with figs…and bacon. (And no foofy birds, Dufmanno.) If you don’t have John Denver somewhere on your iPod, you’re probably the anti-Christ. This gift couples nicely with the best Christmas movie ever – Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas.
Stationary
I know it isn’t terribly green and it proves I’m a total luddite but nothing makes me happier than a handwritten (or typed on an old typewriter) note sent via the archaic US Postal Service. There are all kinds of fun sets on Etsy, like this one. Maybe THAT’s what I should get Mom. Now if I can just master photoshop in the next ten minutes, I’m sure I could whip up some personalized Pegger the Kegger note cards.
The Hootchulele
For the person that has everything, consider a hootchulele. It appears to be a simple cigar box ukulele, but when opened, a “home entertainment center” is revealed. Sadly, I think it’s too small to fit a bottle of wine. Obviously I need to build myself a vinolele.
So shop hard, I guess. I’m so anti-shopping this year I can’t even bring myself to run to the grocery store. That’s why I’ll be serving spaghetti sauce, day old sushi, and dried mangos for lunch.
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The Hootchulele reminds me of that old Saturday Night Live skit, “you put your weed in there”. Nice gift, I’d love one.
That would certainly take up less room than a bottle of whiskey. Well, unless you’re Miley Cyrus.
The Hootchulele is so cute, and should never be confused with the Hoochiechute, with is the stage name for LiLo’s crotch.
It never gets old! The gag, not LiLo’s crotch.
You made me snarf. 🙂
Unlike the Hootchulele, LiLo’s crotch will accommodate a bottle of wine quite nicely.
This is the best game ever.
foofy birds!!!!!
I imagine mine looks like this on happy days
http://twitpic.com/3i5967
I love the cool lime green perfection of my Simple Diary.
I’m a saucy citrus yellow. Together we’re the best limeade ever.
Mean people (and Lilo) have foofy birds that look like this.
http://twitpic.com/3i5amw
That foofy bird is scaring my foofy bird.
Be good to your foofy bird, and your foofy bird will be good to you.
That’s the new golden rule. Which, BTW, also fits in LiLo’s crotch.
Mittens!! I love mittens!!
your list makes me feel ( )clammy. ( ) clammy in my clam. (x) happy as a clam.
explain why: because i love my simple diary, your boobs in tshirts, and dried mangos.
Seriously. SubWow, yet again, wins for best presents. I like to sit around wearing only my @bugginword necklace, a pair of mittens, and Herbert while we thumb through the Simple Diary.
There’s a hole in the washtub!
There’s a hole in LiLo’s…on never mind.
Quit pickin’ on poor LiLo! She is so stressed out, she just assaulted a staff person at the Betty Ford clinic. Should be a fun trial.
Do you shirt.woot.com? Because I am rapidly developing a shirt woot problem……cause, you know, I don’t own enough Tshirts……
Also, mittens are way better than gloves. Except you have to take them off to find your metrocard, or blow your nose, or pick up after the dog. 🙁
I need a pair with that long string between them that keeps them attached. I can’t keep a pair to save my life.
I need mittens!
And one of those diaries! Very funny inside.
Like LiLo’s crotch!
Great list! I did all my shopping yesterday. I saw some awesome tshirts. I think one of my favorites was a one with a picture of a toaster and a piece of bread. The toaster was saying “I want you inside me” and the bread was saying “You’re hot”. LOL it was cute. There were a bunch of cute ones at Spencer Gifts. I bought a onsie for my best friends baby that says “I’m cute, Mommies cute and Daddy’s just a lucky bastard.” heh. Get her started on the tshirts early!
Yeah Toast!
Ha – I love that song. Heywood Banks is so funny. We actually lived near Big Butter Jesus until he was struck by lightning and burned down.
Not to mention it was funny to me because I was a toaster for Halloween. I was all metallic silver with two strips of dark black electrical tape down my back. It was funny because people kept “fingering my slots”. IT was a creative costume that I never knew people would take it that way and be sexual with it. That is part of why the shirt cracked me up so much.
Oh also… add this to your gift list for the spa lover in your life.
http://articles.latimes.com/2010/dec/20/health/la-he-v-steam-20101220
IT’S A VAG STEAMBATH!
Hmmm… I’m beginning to realize that women require more maintenance and upkeep than British Motorcycles.
I have major issues with the words “pungent” and “vagina” in the same sentence.
You do rock a clever t-shirt like few people can. That Simple Diary looks like it could be fun…or stressful…or both.
What are the Foofy Birds??!!! My Christmas is ruined because of this unsolved mystery…