Really that title has nothing to do with today’s post.  It’s just my new favorite word.  (Thanks, Nicole!)

Actually, today’s post is all over the place.  Like LiLo’s crotch!  We might as well go ahead and stretch that joke all week.  Like LiLo’s crotch!  Ok enough.  I’m done.  Like LiLo’s….Ahem.

If your attention span today is anything like mine, you’ll be relieved to know this post isn’t about anything.  Like, at all.  I just felt the need to smack up some of the things that distract me from accomplishing anything on a given day in the hopes that you will be distracted too and I can validate my inefficiencies with the knowledge that I’m not the only watching these things over and over (and over) again instead of actually working.  Or, you know, writing sentences that adhere to the laws of grammar.  Which reminds me!

“Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.”

That little literary lollipop is from this post at the Fluency Project.  If you click through, you’ll find twenty-four more analogies and metaphors selected by teachers from the work of their high school students.  I’m trying to memorize them all so I can randomly throw them into conversations with strangers just to hear their, “deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.”

So I found this little graphic while trolling around the internet yesterday.  It’s fascinating, right?  I can’t stop looking at it.  In the same way I can never look away from praying mantises, congealed ham fat, and the cast of the Jersey Shore.  I just might have cured myself of my little Jean Luc obsession.  *fingers crossed*

Have you heard that Willow Smith track with all the hair whipping yet? You know, the one that makes you want to fill your ears with searing hot paper clips after about twenty seconds? Well someone figured out how to make listening to those twenty seconds of screeching worthwhile.

I hung out with Thom last night and he told me about this video (in between bouts of insulting our mother’s lady bits).  I never realized just how misunderstood poor Marty McFly really was.

I think this whole upping-my-caffeine-intake thing is really helping me focus, don’t you?  I wonder what the plural of platypus is…


    1. *smacks forehead* Did you know babies are called puggles? I don’t know if that’s true but someone said it on Twitter so that’s the same as fact, right?

        1. Now there is an Internet Meme we could all love. Let’s make it a Meme so everyone can enjoy this. Like LiLo’s crotch of course.

    1. OK – i hurt myself laughing at those analogies-

      22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

  1. That Willow Smith song is one of those things that make me want to take up arms and go on a rampage (in my head at least). But it’s superbly awesome when applied to that Exorcist clip. 🙂

    Since when did some ten year old yelling one line into a mike constitute music?

    Oh shit. It happened. I just officially turned into my own mother.

    The Picard graphic = disturbing my happy place

    1. Yesterday I swear Rocco said, “Kids today just don’t know anything about respect.” And at that exact moment, I saw thirty seven gray hairs leap out of his ears into tiny ear hair ringlets.

  2. Mission accomplished! Now I am too distracted by that graphic to accomplish anything more for today. Going back to stare at it right now.

  3. Great — now I’ll have the Indiana Jones theme song playing in my head all day. But woo hoo! It’s better than having that gawd-awful Whip My Hair song on a continuous loop, so I lucked out!

  4. I’m not even sure what that whip it song is all about. I mean…I’d fall down if I kept whipping my hair around like that. I have to say I think you have a real talent for finding rare gems on the internet. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad but it is highly amusing. So don’t stop. =]


  5. The ferocity with which that kitten is running has me concerned.
    Because my mind has gone blank and my eyes have glossed over at this juncture I am unable to make the segue to the obvious LiLo joke that would include a fast pussycat.
    Someone hold my hand and take me there.

  6. Why, no I’m not being distracted by fun bloggy stuff when I’m supposed to be writing my last piece for the semester, shopping online for family, wrapping Christmas presents, putting lights on the tree and baking stuff. And I appreciate you making that assumption.
    Ooooo. I’m going to make popcorn and watch a sappy movie.
    Look! My watch is making rainbows on the wall.
    I love coffee.

  7. That Indiana Jones graphic has taken me to a whole other level of slacking off – I just finished reading Amelia Beamer’s book The Loving Dead where zombie’s are controlled by the sound of a whip cracking and people use their iphone app (the Indiana Jones app that makes the whip cracking noise) so now I am going to be searching for whip cracking noises all day and zombie stuff too.


    The BrokeBack to the Future was hilarious.

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