Really that title has nothing to do with today’s post. It’s just my new favorite word. (Thanks, Nicole!)
Actually, today’s post is all over the place. Like LiLo’s crotch! We might as well go ahead and stretch that joke all week. Like LiLo’s crotch! Ok enough. I’m done. Like LiLo’s….Ahem.
If your attention span today is anything like mine, you’ll be relieved to know this post isn’t about anything. Like, at all. I just felt the need to smack up some of the things that distract me from accomplishing anything on a given day in the hopes that you will be distracted too and I can validate my inefficiencies with the knowledge that I’m not the only watching these things over and over (and over) again instead of actually working. Or, you know, writing sentences that adhere to the laws of grammar. Which reminds me!
“Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.”
That little literary lollipop is from this post at the Fluency Project. If you click through, you’ll find twenty-four more analogies and metaphors selected by teachers from the work of their high school students. I’m trying to memorize them all so I can randomly throw them into conversations with strangers just to hear their, “deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.”
So I found this little graphic while trolling around the internet yesterday. It’s fascinating, right? I can’t stop looking at it. In the same way I can never look away from praying mantises, congealed ham fat, and the cast of the Jersey Shore. I just might have cured myself of my little Jean Luc obsession. *fingers crossed*
Have you heard that Willow Smith track with all the hair whipping yet? You know, the one that makes you want to fill your ears with searing hot paper clips after about twenty seconds? Well someone figured out how to make listening to those twenty seconds of screeching worthwhile.
I hung out with Thom last night and he told me about this video (in between bouts of insulting our mother’s lady bits). I never realized just how misunderstood poor Marty McFly really was.
I think this whole upping-my-caffeine-intake thing is really helping me focus, don’t you? I wonder what the plural of platypus is…