It’s time, yet again, for the monthly wrap up of seriously disturbing search terms that landed people in my tiny little Buggin World.
“healthy shit” Obviously someone is really pumped about embracing a more health conscious lifestyle. Good call because this site is obviously the place to go what with all the references to wine, beer, and ranch dressing. I suppose it could be interpreted another way, but even I draw the line at documenting my bowel movements….so far at least.
“poconos kill polish” During my brief stay in the land of champagne glass shaped hot tubs, I didn’t see anyone kill anything. There were a lot of burly men clad in bright orange vests, but I doubt they were hunting little metal tins of tinted wax nor people whose ancestry can be tracked back to Poland. I think both groups can visit the area without fear of assassination – unless they strap on a pair of antlers and loiter in the woods.
“creamed corn panties” Ew. Seriously ew. Though the phrase does remind me of a NC band I use to love back in high school – Picasso Trigger. The lead singer would wear a huge Depends undergarment with the words “Surfs Up!” scrawled on her crotch. The bass player would spit water on the crowd while the guitarist would chug cans of creamed corn until he hurled on stage. *blink, blink* Ahem. That was in interesting trip down memory lane. In hindsight, maybe I can understand why Mom was a little weirded out by my musical taste.
“shamrock pasties” What else would you pair with creamed corn panties? I know what somebody’s getting for Valentines Day! Thank Vishnu its still frickin’ cold here on St. Patrick’s Day. The last thing I need to see is a bunch of stumbling co-eds wiping green vomit off their chests while trying to keep their pasties in place.
“I found God in Ohio” Well, duh. As Rocco always says, “If the end of the world comes we’re going back to Ohio. They won’t know about it for at least another five years.”
“my date vagina face” You really do need to distinguish between this and your “every day vagina face.” How many of your first dates have gone down (that’s what she said) in flames when you accidentally whipped out your “waiting in line at the grocery store vagina face” or your “what the hell did I just bite into vagina face.” This is a fun game! I’m going to start substituting “vagina face” every chance I get. What? Don’t judge. I see you making that scowly vagina face at me, Mom.
“dyed ferret” See?!?! You guys (and by you guys I mean Falling) had me thinking that ferret dying was not a typical past time. Obviously, I’m not the only one doing it. Maybe I’ll abandon blogging and set up a punk rock ferret shop in my apartment.
“I’m that baby mama I’m that baby daddy” You’re also a hermaphrodite and will doubtlessly be contacted shortly by TLC for a new and groundbreaking reality TV show. Congratulations. FYI – I’m more likely to watch your new show if you hire The Situation as your doula, k?
“shhh its almost over” That one ranks pretty high on the creepitude meter. It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the vagina face again. Maybe I should stop watching so much SVU.
Speaking of which, this post is almost over. I’m not even going to touch “Husker Du Gallipoli” because it just makes my head hurt. Also, to the person that sought “where should Ellie rub me” – I’m not rubbing you nowheres if you can’t even spell my name right. I’m totally giving you the stink eye vagina face right now.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go research ferret restraints and non-toxic dyes.
*snarf* that is the sound I made while reading this.
.-= HellachellaÂ´s last blog ..Newsletter =-.
I make that noise when I accidentally inhale carbonated beverages.
I really shouldn’t read your posts before bed!
.-= Eternally DistractedÂ´s last blog ..Dear OCD =-.
You’re totally going to make a “their going to catch me and force me to eat lime jello vagina face” while you’re having nightmares tonight.
I’m so glad I only read that this morning – phew!
.-= Eternally DistractedÂ´s last blog ..Dear OCD =-.
I posted Big J awhile ago. Replaced “Sky Fairy” with “Holy Big J” for about a week afterwards So frightening, that picture.
Seriously the first time I saw him I was speechless. You know how often THAT happens.
You know, your mother must really be some kind of long-suffering saint or something. Plus she has your siblings and father to contend with too.
.-= Debra She Who SeeksÂ´s last blog ..Gypsy Letter #1 =-.
Oh you’d be surprised. Pegger the Kegger can dish it out pretty hard core. The apple doesn’t fall very far from the vagina face tree.
â€œtheir going to catch me and force me to eat lime jello vagina faceâ€
You are killing me! That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read for at least several days. I’m trying very hard not to laugh out loud at work. () <== LOLgina face.
.-= KeepingYouAwakeÂ´s last blog ..I Love Movies More Than You =-.
Oh THANK GOD there’s now an emoticon for vagina face!!
This is the most vagina I have seen since Friday night, errrr, I mean, gym showers in school……..lol
.-= Wicked ShawnÂ´s last blog ..Wicked Girls…….Will Crush Your Soul =-.
I think your gym showering involved more mirrors than my gym showering.
Thank you. I wasn’t sure if I was going to run for a position of real power on the PTA but now that I have a slogan, I think I will.
“A Vote For Me Is A Vote For Vagina Face”
.-= Miss SpokenÂ´s last blog ..Roll It Like a B-Side: The Interviews =-.
I’m ordering the buttons now!
I’m now looking in the mirror trying to distinguish between my regular and date vagina face. Every day I learn new things. Falling has broken new ground with the () also. I’d like to thank everyone here for officially extinguishing my fear of the “v” word. You have undone 12 years of Catholic School so I am forever in your debt.
.-= KellyÂ´s last blog ..So Low That I Canâ€™t Ever Get Up Again =-.
I had lunch with another Catholic friend earlier this week. In two hours of conversation, I managed to horrify her so consistently she crossed herself at least four times. PS vagina.
If my dates had vagina faces, eye contact would be SO much easier.
.-= moooooog35Â´s last blog ..Panning for Golden Showers =-.
Your avatar kinda has a vagina face.
I look at a lot of writing blogs and sometimes I get confused – are we supposed to write a poem or story with all these phrases in them? 😎
.-= BrokenBIroÂ´s last blog ..Where do you get ideas from? =-.
Kelly, I can’t take credit for the () vaginamoticon. I only take credit for forcing Elly to be out in the open about her ferret-dying. Beauty school dropout, indeed…
.-= FallingÂ´s last blog ..Insert Clever Title Here =-.
I love crazy search terms. I don’t get many that are really weird on my blog, but occasionally out of the blue there is one that just makes you wince!
.-= pixielationÂ´s last blog ..The strangeness of kinders =-.
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