My birthday did not go as I had planned. It was supposed to be a mellow day of painting and NPR. Instead, I had an intense and ill-advised love affair with chocolate martinis that lasted a mere three hours. I’m still reeling a bit from the aftermath. In other news, I truly wonder if I will ever be able to drink chocolate milk again.
So yeah. Today is full of the lazy. And the loud noises my keyboard makes when I type are a little bit more than my allergy stuffed and oxygen deprived brain can handle.
I did get it together enough to write a Craftastrophe today. Kinda. You see, they’ve asked the writers to town it down a tidge to keep their advertisers happy. I’m trying, Interwebz, but PG rated isn’t exactly my strong suit. I think the most offensive word I used was “boobs.” It’s possible that Hell just froze over.
Thanks for all the birthday wishes and swag, you beautiful people! Remember how I pined for a tiny gilded giraffe last week? Well guess what magically appeared on my doorstep on my birthday courtesy of Wicked Shawn (and Drama Queen, too)?!?
I know! I had to pinch myself twice to make sure it wasn’t just some Baileys-fueled hallucination. (Hold please while I swallow down the the reflexive vurp that may forever follow the thought of that liquor.) The part where he blew bubbles while dancing the Macarena in the palm of my hand might have been a hallucination. Today he doesn’t seem to have any tricks other than looking pretty. Most importantly Rocco can see him, too.
Speaking of hallucinations, I think Reginald and I opened this birthday card from Sister Merry Hellish while the room was still spinning Saturday night. I don’t exactly remember checking email that night, but I do remember some very strange, 70’s themed dreams involving Kojak and Jim Henson. I’m hoping this card explains all that away.
Holy crap do I look like a whacked out coke fiend. On that note, I’m going to spoon with Reginald and Mildred on the couch for the next several hours while rubbing my gums and sniffling.
Happy belated Birthday! Sorry I’m late. I’ve been just terrible about visits lately and I can’t even blame it on chocolate martinis.
No more talk of martinis. Ever.
SSSOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLL Train. With Mr. Smooth himself, Don Cornelius, wishing you love, peace, and soul.
sounds like a good time was had by all. too bad we have to pay afterwards, though. Its not good when we feel our age the next day.
Especially when we happen to be a year older that next day. Ouch.
Reginald is adoraballs! And don’t worry. He’s probably just in gold-giraffe hibernation mode and recovering from all the tiny chocolate martinis he had himself!
And girl! I’m glad you haven’t blog blocked me after that video card! It was made with love!
Oh pookie, it was high-sterical. I’m working on growing out my fro, even.
You look really good in those red boots! Get some! I think the martinis would have put me into a sugar induced coma before an alcohol induced one. You need to get in good with a nurse. On nights like that, they can hook you up to an IV of fluids they have at home, and you are good to go in the morning. Not that I know from experience, mind you.
Every part of it was a bad idea. Every single one. Good to know I’m not old enough to be responsible yet, right?
OMJ, I’m so glad you posted a pic, subWOW asked if I took a pic before I mailed him and I was like…OH HOLY HELL!! How could I have NOT taken a picture?? Also, not for nothin’, but postal owrkers have no sense of humor. When they asked if there was anything fragile and I said, “Umm, YEAH, a baby giraffe!” Totally not amused. But, they slapped that fragile sticker on and it looks like Reginald made it safe and sound!! Also, lurv you!!!
I’m sure you just weren’t thinking straight after the fumes. Mildred keeps licking him. That’s perfectly safe, right?
Happy belated! One should always feel shitty the day after their birthday party.
I only take responsibility for the that first one!
*glares* Chocolate martinis are a gateway drug. *vomit* Oh hell, still not over it.
I MISSED YOUR MOTHER EFFING BIRTHDAY?!!
Ummmm … *flashes tits*
Don’t say I never gave you nothin’.
SQUEEEEE! Coincidentally that’s the same noise my face made sliding down the trail of drool on the bus window while I tried not to pass out on the way home.
Holy crap, that is some video . . . it’s those eyes . . . those wild, unblinking eyes. Sorry about the hangover, though.
You got the gilded giraffe!!!!! (Nicely done Shawn!) And SMH, love that video. Now I need to go have some more vodka and watch that vid again.
I’m thinking about a rainy day nap on my squishy, pink, bird-flippin’, fugly-ass, stuffed thing-a-mah-bobble.
oh my god that last pic of you is effing hilarious!
Or terrifying. Or both.
Did Wicked lovingly spraypaint him with her own hands?!
I’m having a glorious Goldfinger moment here.
Also, you have just attained my lifelong goal of either appearing on Soul Train or Solid Gold (no pun intended here).
I wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.
Bah BUUUUM bum. I love the horns in that song. Actually I just love horns. Except the horns on rams. Those are weird.
You see the problem was not the fact that you were drinking… you just were drinking the wrong thing! *tsk tsk*
I love chocolate, however mixing it with a martini… *shaking head* Too sweet… will make you feel sick/hung over every time.
You are better off drinking a grey goose martini… dirty with extra olives… that’s it! don’t ruin it with vermoth *shudder*
if you don’t like olives I guess you *could* substitute lime slices & lime juice….
Just sayin…. 😉
I should just stick with wine, beer, and the occasional margarita. Or water. Maybe I’ll try water for the next couple of days.
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