Drenched Diary
Drenched Diary

Recently I had a bit of a water bottle malfunction and emptied a half liter of Jersey’s finest aquifer into my handbag.  While Webster emerged unscathed from the depths of my purse, my moleskine did not survive.  I was able to salvage a few quotes that must be documented before I toss this bad boy out:

  • Mom (after licking Drew at a bar as we celebrated his 40th birthday):  I’m way saltier than he is…(eying the rest of the family nervously) don’t even try it.
  • Thom (in response to Mom’s statement that she never sees the kids):  You’re the one who wanted us to make something of ourselves.
  • Mike (I can’t remember where or why this was said but I sure as hell wrote it down – I’m sure it was at a family function):  Dad said you took the cock.
  • Mom (as we all try and determine where the fowl stench surrounding the table originated):  It’s not me – it’s not my flavor.
  • Unknown (I can’t remember who said this but I sure remember writing it down during a night of wings and pitchers at Black Bear):  My vagina is a penis cozy.
  • Rocco (talking about a small child chasing fireflies):  If he catches one, let’s see if we can get him to smash one onto his front tooth so he can look all gangsta.

I guess it’s a good thing I’ve got Dad’s trusty recorder to pick up the slack until I find a new notebook!


  1. I recall being told of a convo of friend’s young daughter, by young I mean 5ish, had with her in which she, the daughter, described her privates as her “finger house”.

Comments are closed.