Rocco: So what’s in the package?
Me: Oh, that body pillow I ordered. It’s almost as tall as I am. Who do we know that will let us seal them up in that box?
Rocco: No, the little package by the TV.
Me: You mean the uterus?
Rocco: The what?
Me: The uterus. Kate sent it to me.
Rocco: Your sister-in-law sent you a uterus.
Me: It’s plushy. And it can hug you with it’s little fallopian tubes.
Rocco: *opens package* It’s a uterus.
Me: That’s what I said. There’s a sticker uterus, too.
Rocco: *pulls sticker from package, reads aloud* “Womb service?” There’s a post card, too.
Me: It’s cute, isn’t it? Apparently my uterus is Japanese.
Rocco: “Hey Elly, I thought you needed a uterus to cuddle since yours is being used at the moment…” You know Honey, sometimes your family…
Me: Is adorable? I know!!
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How adorably cute will it be when your baby cuddles its plushie womb while sleeping in the crib? “I wanna go baaaaaaack!”
Assuming it survives Mildred’s rampages. The uterus that is. Though I suppose it could go for the kid, too.
I don’t know about your uterus but your boobs are looking huge. Which is obviously one of the high points of pregnancy.
I had no idea they made plush japanese uteruses. The world never ceases to amaze me.
♥Spot
Don’t even get me started on my tits. If you told me I had twins, one in each boob, I would totally believe you.
And now I’m checking out your boobs. You can thank Spot for that.
Yeah well Spot has a roomy vagina. Now go focus on that. 🙂
How do you know it’s japanese…is it raw like sushi?
Well I guess I know who to send the postcard to…
Funny, I’ve never wanted to hug my uterus until just now!
That’s adoraballs!
It’s really more of a “I wanna dig that out with a rusty spoon” sort of organ.
OMG if I had a uterus like that I would take it on an adventure! First stop, the maternity ward. I would show my uterus just how special and important it is. Next stop, the zoo. I think my uterus needs to also know how lucky it is to be mine and not a hippo’s or elephants because nobody desires a ginormous uterus. To finish off our day, a little ice cream, because everyone knows it’s their favorite!
Nobody? I beg to differ. Octomom and that Dugger chick seem to confuse their uteri with clown cars. Then again, cats do that, too. For the record, I have no idea where I’m going with this.
It’s adorable, your uterus! If only I’d known I could snuggle some fallopian tubes, I never woulda had kids.
These are a little too short to tie. I’m going to assume it’s not some sort of political statement.
I’m with spot and Vinnie. Now I just want to hug your boobs.
Good luck getting your arms around them. Wait, that’s not a challenge. Just so we’re clear.
I thought about getting a little stuffed gall bladder to commemorate the time I had mine removed. I just never got around to it.
Have you ever seen those crocheted testicles in a jar on Etsy?
Aw, your uterus is super adorable!
I’m going to take an educated guess and say that I’ve probably never written THAT sentence before.
Frighteningly, you’re not the first person to tell me that. But then again, what else can a girl expect after writing a post about said uterus?
AW you can never have too much uter…..wait, WHAT? Dude, that’s just…that’ wrong. I mean it’s not Rod Stewart in a Speedo wrong, but it’s still…no one should cuddle uteruses. Uteri? Whatever. No.
P.S. Yep, you’re hosting the titteh Olympics! Damn spawn making your assets swell. 🙂
You should see what it’s doing to my ass.
PS it’s weird to watch your cat chew your uterus. Just sayin’.
Your uterus made a pass at me and I feel a little uncomfortable.
Could you please control your uterus? It’s trying to ride the mechanical bull again.
I have uterus envy.
Your uterus ate my lunch and now it’s powalking around asking people to pull it’s fallopian tube.
These are all things I would tell you if your uterus came to vist me because we would do fun things.
I’m still giggling at the visual of a uterus on a mechanical bull. *snort*
Damn, your peeps send awesome gifts. All I got when I was pregnant were some onesies and some nipple cream.
Yeah. I just found out I should get some of that. *sigh* Pregnancy is just about the sexiest thing ever, eh?
Plushy internal organs are adorable! Except the intestine one which is pretty shitty.
*rimshot*
Not to be confused with *rim job*. Seriously. Someone take this keyboard away from me. Please.
That looks like the shape of my deformed uterus, yay!
I’d like to hug that, too.
I like the fact that it looks like it is about to chuck the ovaries at someone.
It’s all fun and games until someone takes an ovary to the face…
Uh, it seems that one of the uterus’s eyes is larger than the other. Your uterus is giving us all the stink eye. (Now that’s a movie title if I ever heard one.)
Or it’s drunk. One of us should be, damnit.
That is the cutest uterous I’ve ever seen. I really think it needs to do an interpretive dance to accompany your next ukeing efforts.
I love when a stuffed animal/uterus…whatever…provides terrific blogging material!
That is awesome, now you can take out all your preggo aggro out on the adorable uterus.
Can’t fit into another pair of pants? *Socks uterus in the left eye* Take that, uterus!
Have to get up 15 times a night to pee? *Stretches tubes to the limit and ties ’em* You days are numbered, internal organ!
Feeling like a meat suit worn by a fetus? *Punches the uterus in the uterus* How you like me now, uter-bitch?
Uter-bitch? You rock my world, lady.
You should totally take your uterus places and take pictures of it in front of famous landmarks.
“My uterus on the Brooklyn Bridge”
“My uterus at the Eiffel Tower”
etc.
Aw, see I need one of those too since someone else is cuddling my uterus right now.
Cuddling? You got a cuddler? I seem to have a puncher/stabber.