Rocco: Why are you on the floor again? You know you can’t get up.
Me: I have to paint under the window moulding.
Rocco: The only person in this house that will ever see that unpainted patch of wall is Paul and he isn’t going to care.
(Oh hey – did I mention I think the parasite’s name is Paul? No? So I’m pretty sure he’s a Paul. Though I reserve the right to change my mind if he comes out looking like an Alejandro. Or Pierrepont. Or Fred.)
Me: It’s not unpainted, it just needs a second coat. Besides, Paul might really care. What if he’s OCD? Or what if we make friends with a midget?
Rocco: Have you ever met a midget?
Me: Yes! Lots of times!
Rocco: *scornful face*
Me: A couple of times.
Rocco: *raised eyebrows*
Me: There was this one time…
Rocco: And was the midget OCD?
Me: Um. I distinctly remembering him saying how poor painting on the under sides of window moulding often drove him into a homicidal rage.
Rocco: Fine, paint under the moulding.
Rocco: Now what?
Me: I have to pee again, can you help me up?