Made-up Marketing

Why oh why am I such a sucker for marketing?  I was browsing through my Better Homes and Gardens (yes I’m half thirteen-year-old girl and half fifty-something suburban goddess with a good ‘ol dousing of New York City slut) and somehow got caught up in an article on this season’s make-up musts.  Normally I breeze right over these for multiple reasons.  One, I actually don’t wear that much make-up.  Two, I’m super anal about what make-up I wear after researching all the toxic creepiness that most products contain.  I basically wear only one brand, Jane Iredale, which is the only line I’ve found that consistently limits carcinogens.  Three, I don’t necessarily want the same look Lindsay Lohan and/or the entire Gossip Girl cast is rockin.  Apparently today the New York City slut was running the show and she was in the mood to tramp it up.

Anyway, the article was focusing on all the fun you could have with funky colored eye shadows.  “Brights in Bloom” explained how I could totally get away with blue, green, or even purple eye shadow.  I think the phrase “universally flattering” was batted around multiple times.  I didn’t think too much of it, but I definitely read the entire article and apparently NYC slut stowed the information safely away in a little corner of my mind.

Perhaps it was the result of watching Twilight again last night after listening to the soundtrack four times (seriously, somebody help me – I need an intervention).  Perhaps it was due to my hair’s new penchant for spiking up like a kewpie doll despite all my styling efforts.  Regardless, the mirror and I weren’t exactly BFFs this morning.  I’m still adjusting to that gal that looks back at me.  But, hair is hair and beggars can’t be choosers.  I feel that I have this new look, like it or don’t, and I might as well own it.  So I spiked the seventeen hairs that weren’t already spiked, put on gigantic earrings and headed out the door to run my errands.

Janice the Muppet
Janice the Muppet

Errand number one was to pick up some more mascara from the one apothecary in town that carries Jane Iredale.  Unfortunately they had a big display of all Jane’s fancy new eyeshadows for the season.  NYC slut subtley started making her play.  Jane didn’t make it any easier either by packaging together blue, green, and purple into one eyeshadow sampler compact of doom.  And now I look like David Bowie in the Ziggy days or Janice the muppet on – well – any day really.

I sit here typing and hanging my jewel toned head in shame.  Well, at least I’m helping the economy!