Me: I don’t know how to break this to you.
Me: I don’t want you to get too upset.
Me: This news could alter your life forever.
Thom (yawning): What?
Me: Your future husband…
Me: …my adorable brother-in-law-to-be…
Thom: Elly, I’m still not gay.
Me: …the queen of your dreams…
Thom: Seriously…again with this? I know you always wanted a sister but…
Me: …has met someone.
Thom: Oh. It’s cool.
Me: Really? No twinge of regret?
Thom: Nah. This just solidifies my status as the Other Woman.