Like a Margarita on a Mexican Beach, But Different

It can’t be snowing again.  It just can’t.  I refuse to accept that this is happening.

I pick a new reality.  I’m actually on a beach somewhere in Mexico sipping on a margarita that Javier Bardem just brought over on a gilded tray.  Also?  I look just like Penelope Cruz.  And Rod Stewart is retired.  And I can suddenly spell the word restaurant (WITHOUT spell check).  And nothing anywhere in the world is breaking or exploding or radioactive.

*clicks ruby slippers three times, opens right eye, still sees snow and rain*

Harrumph.

This calls for desperate measures, people.  I hate to whip out my big guns this early in the week, but I don’t think we have a choice.

Yes….it’s time for….A BABY PYGMY GOAT STAMPEDE!

You’re welcome.  We’ll get through this Monday yet…


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Comments

  1. it’s been snowing here all weekend…if summer doesn’t come soon, I might stab a bitch. at least all the Iditarod crazies are gone…finally.

  2. Look! The goats made the snow stop!!! Temperatures are above 40!! (Ok, not MUCH above 40, but still.)

    All Hail The Baby Goats!!!

  3. Oh HI!! It’s me again, walking up to you on your warm Mexican beach of paradise. I knocked out the cabana boy and now I’M HERE to hand you your drink.
    You didn’t think you could distract me with the mind numbing hilarity and sweetness of the baby pygmy goats did you?
    This two foot secret is like my own personal Tell Tale Heart. I go to the bank and I hear it. The grocery store? I hear it there too.
    Now the warbly clown music is starting and all I hear are demented puppets singing it…
    Secret, secret, Elly has a secret!!!

    Anyway, in case you can’t tell I now have a list a half mile long of things it COULD BE.

    This is really taking over my life..

  4. i can’t believe i’ve been surprise-blocked again. i finally just yelled STOP! at work so i could get my ass over here is desperate anticipation of the surprise and DENIED!

    it’s going to take a lot more than baby pygmee goats to calm me down now that i know i have to wait again.

    this is cruel and unusual. and sick and twisted. and such a tease, missy elly. such a tease.

  5. How can Pygmy goats be that adorable? I’m adding them to my list of pets I must have (right next to tea cup pigs – google them now!). In fact, Javier Bardem may be on that list too.

  6. Who would have ever thought that pygmy goats could make a rainy, gray Monday shiny? I just might have to go to the rainy beach we have here and have a drink…Thanks.

  7. e is an actual pygmy goat farm near the home of one of my friends. I hate to break this love fest up, but adorable little pygmy goats smell just as foul as normal sized goats. Also, winter can suck Tom’s cloned Willy until it turns blue in the face!

    1. I don’t know which part of that comment made me happier. Also? Pygmy goats are gonna replace hamsters as my go-to animal to describe the way my crotch smells during my period.

  8. They made me chuckle….despite the crazy bitch meds I am on….so that is saying something:) Is there anything pygmy that isn’t RIDICULOUSLY cute? Hellbenders, maybe? or a pygmy roach…..still gross. Oh, no…I better go watch the video again.

  9. OMFG how much do I adore you for posting this?? I love Pygmy goats! I always tell people that I don’t want anything for Christmas, b-day, what have you, and when they press I tell them that I only want a Pygmy goat.

    I hope your Monday got better, love, because you made mine a lot lighter.~

  10. Why are Monday’s so evil? And why are bosses so evil? And why do chips have so many calories? Sorry. Obviously the pygmy goats didn’t work on me. Got any pygmies though?

      1. My Disaster Preparedness kit/s are massive. I’ve already got one duffel bag full of stuff, two grocery bags, and have a backpack and cat carrier ready to go by the door. There may not be room for us in the car.

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