Ladies and Germs

I love kazoos.  Next to the ukulele, they’re the single easiest instrument to play.  There was even a brief moment there where I considered becoming a professional kazoo artist after being wowed by this gal’s skill.

Imagine my joy when I learned I could make customized BugginWord kazoos.  Imagine Rocco’s horror when two ginormous boxes of those bad boys arrived in our wee apartment.  Imagine my surprise that I still have a whole mess of them left over after that BlogHer conference.  Imagine my Germans’ reluctance to join our family sing-a-long…until I handed them their very own kazoos.

Imagine how pissed they’ll all be when they find out I recorded their performances and posted them on YouTube.  (You’ll want your volume way low for this.  Mildred finds the audio quite upsetting.)

Do I have the cutest German’s in the world, or what?

I love spending time with non-native English speakers.  Don’t get me wrong, my German’s speak better English than I do.  But occasionally, they conjugate something a little differently or switch words about.  And then they say the most beautifully profound things with a complete air of innocence.

We were strolling along the waterfront of Hoboken.  Rocco and I were chatting with Gerd, while Mom and Dad had pulled ahead of the group.  We paused when we noticed Ursula was missing.  Gerd turned to watch her exit the ferry building down on the pier, a good twenty feet away.  He smiled affectionately, rolled his eyes, and said, “She wants to be getting lost.”

I thought it was so beautiful I wrote it down the second we returned to the house.  Well, first I made a frantic sprint for the bathroom as I was still not quite 100 percent recovered from colon Armageddon, but THEN I wrote it down.

Now it sits here on my desk, reminding me that I’d like to be getting lost, too.  Though what that means to me seems to change capriciously.  That’s the beauty of the statement.  One moment I read it as setting off for a stroll in a part of town I don’t know.  The next, I read it as losing myself in a book.  Right now it sounds like I should blow town, take a road trip, disappear for a hot minute.

Maybe I’ll take myself to Virginia and hang with those adorable Germans for a few more days, see what other tiny nuggets of wisdom they can shower on me.

Odds are, the only part of me getting lost this week is my mind.

Speaking of brains (and the possible lack of them) swing over to Craftastrophe and check out the brain-eating monstrosity I found for you today.  Though if that’s the route a zombie tries to take to a gal’s brain, he’s got some work ahead of him.

Oh!  And if you’d like your very own Bugginword kazoo, I can hook you up.  Just drop me an email with your mailing address, and I’ll plop one in the mail for you.  Then you can all send me videos like this.

If you ask nice, I’ll give you one of the few that I haven’t licked yet.  Probably.


  1. We fight over our bugginword kazoo so much that we waste valuable minutes that could be spent making beautiful music. I will try to remedy that situation and record a song in honor of you.
    Still sad that your Germans are so far superior to mine.

  2. The German on the right’s kazooing was very uninspired if you ask me. However, you do have cute Germans.

    I’m wanting to get lost too. I’m just not sure where yet. But if I find myself…I’ll send you a postcard, ok?


  3. Oh dear God! For the first bit there I was with Mildred! Then I finally picked up they were attempting the Star Spangled Banner. The second round I still can’t tell if they were playing The Little Drummer Boy or Darth Vader’s march from Star Wars!

    Hilarious, either way! Glad the loosened up long enough for you to get this…and that you’re spending less time in the throne room. 😉

  4. i want to be getting lost all the time! you should make that a bumper sticker. what’s even better than getting lost, is getting lost with a kazoo. so no matter how lost you are getting, you will always have music.

  5. A BugginWord Kazoo? That’s better than a basket full of warm puppies. I call dibbs on one.

    Damn your arse woman. May be time to invest in one of those butt plugs. Maybe you can get one in rainbow glitter?

  6. Please to save two Buggin Word kazoos for me. Well, one for me and one for The Drama Queen. I have been letting her watch your videos (not Cee-Lo, because, well, obvs) but she adores your euke skills and now she is dying for a kazoo! I am pretty sure she wishes she was yours. She also thinks your blog is about Ladybugs because I don’t let her read it! Bwahahahaha!!!!!

    1. I think I wrote a post about ladybugs once. So technically, it COULD be about ladybugs. If she was mine, she’d have to learn how to use a litter box so that might change her mind…

  7. Dude, your Germans are the bomb. And I bet their English is so great that they wouldn’t dream of ever putting an apostrophe in ‘Germans’ unlike their American friend. HA, schooled YOU. 🙂

    In other news the kazoo is horrible and tickles my extremeties with its weird noises. In other OTHER news I am finding playing an E chord on the uke really effing annoying and hard. I mean on guitar an E is one of the easiest chords a person can play! On the uke you need special alien hands. WTF?

    1. Grammar is hard, Barbie. As is the E cord. And F#7.

      You also need alien hands to play a kazoo inside your extremities. Weirdo.

      BetaDad and I already have a duet planned…you game yet?

  8. I still can’t play the kazoo. Damn! I clicked on the vid, forgetting that the headset was not in the hole on my laptop then frantically tried to plug in the hole. At least that sound is not as annoying as the vuvuzelas. Ugh. I hated them!

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