Is It Still Monday?

If your Monday attention span is half as bad as mine is….did you say something?  Huh.  I could have sworn I heard did you happen to notice where I put my house keys?  I wonder if Rocco remembered to forward the I haven’t seen Lucy in at least two hours.  I hope I didn’t seal her up in a I should probably eat some lunch.  There’s that sound again…almost like an animal trapped in a I FORGOT TO MOVE THE CAR!

Focus, Elly.

I’m going to distract you with a post I wrote elsewhere today – over at This Blogger Makes Fun of Stuff – where I reviewed my favorite water bottles.

You’re back already?  Here look at these awesome videos of happiness while I slam some more stuff in boxes. First up – this gal has ALMOST surpassed NPH in the standings for Elly’s Dream Future BFF.  This is her most recent, and probably my most favorite video to date.  That’s probably because it involves margaritas.  And tacos.  And DAMN I MISS MOTHERFUCKINGBOOZETIME.

Also, Garfunkel and Oates have a new song. Yay for ukes!

And lastly, just in case you don’t already read (note: I totally typed “ream” there and almost caused great damage to Becky’s reputation) Steam Me Up Kid, dig her first ever vlog.  At least it’s the first vlog I’ve ever seen from her.  It’s been hard to keep up with ALL her comings and goings since that restraining order fiasco.

So.  Um.  That’s all you get today.  Tomorrow I’ll tell you about how I popped my Minister cherry.  Probably.  Unless I accidentally pack my keyboard.  Which?  Could totally happen.


  1. I’m glad she wrote out the stages. I get stuck on how weird I look and can’t move past it.
    Also thinking of doing five minutes of “guess that rack”

    1. I think you could charge pay per view for the five minutes of guess that rack. However, be sure to take off the miraculous medal first so we don’t recognize you.

  2. Sigh… another adorably silly V-blogger to follow. I had secretly hoped she couldn’t possibly be as funny in realz life as her posts are.

  3. The drunk kitchen woman. Dig her. Then she starts drinking. Dig her more. When you are her BFF I will already have moved in with her. It will be nice to meet you.

  4. I’m really afraid that dog in Becky’s vlog is going to have shaken puppy syndrome.

    Love the drunk kitchen woman. She should probably invite us all over for tacos (like nachos in your hand) and Jargaritas. Mmmmm…


  5. I love Drunk Kitchen girl! She makes me wish I were a lesbeaux. <–fancy

    Also, seeing my vlog here makes me want to tell myself to settle down, you're in public for cripes sake. Don't embarrass Elly on her own page.

    1. Really? As I watched it for the fourteenth time I found myself pounding my fist on my desk and screaming, “Show us your tits!” I blame the glittery sweater. Which? FAAHHHHHHbulous.

  6. I think I know what all four women have in common (and why you like them all so much): they ALL enjoy jargeritas.
    P.S. This post must be forwarded to Tina Fey after which she hires you as executive producer/writer.

  7. “i never guessed this tremblin machine would turn the motor on under my hood. go kart racing. accidentally masturbating. go kart racing …”

    oh my fucking god that was funny.

  8. Must buy go kart.

    Must drunk taco.

    Must marry Steamme (But not here in Indiana because hello! It’s no Massachusetts.)

    Love and tittie giggles, Ninja Me

  9. I less-than-three all of you. Frealz.

    Can you even believe I’m a 30-year old male after reading that? I couldn’t be so presumptuous as to write “man” there. This is getting bad.

    The margarita girl was HILARIOUS, and Steamy Upkid inspires me to “want to” do my own vlog. Anyone else thinking about this?

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