If your Monday attention span is half as bad as mine is….did you say something? Huh. I could have sworn I heard did you happen to notice where I put my house keys? I wonder if Rocco remembered to forward the I haven’t seen Lucy in at least two hours. I hope I didn’t seal her up in a I should probably eat some lunch. There’s that sound again…almost like an animal trapped in a I FORGOT TO MOVE THE CAR!
I’m going to distract you with a post I wrote elsewhere today – over at This Blogger Makes Fun of Stuff – where I reviewed my favorite water bottles.
You’re back already? Here look at these awesome videos of happiness while I slam some more stuff in boxes. First up – this gal has ALMOST surpassed NPH in the standings for Elly’s Dream Future BFF. This is her most recent, and probably my most favorite video to date. That’s probably because it involves margaritas. And tacos. And DAMN I MISS MOTHERFUCKINGBOOZETIME.
Also, Garfunkel and Oates have a new song. Yay for ukes!
And lastly, just in case you don’t already read (note: I totally typed “ream” there and almost caused great damage to Becky’s reputation) Steam Me Up Kid, dig her first ever vlog. At least it’s the first vlog I’ve ever seen from her. It’s been hard to keep up with ALL her comings and goings since that restraining order fiasco.
So. Um. That’s all you get today. Tomorrow I’ll tell you about how I popped my Minister cherry. Probably. Unless I accidentally pack my keyboard. Which? Could totally happen.
Totally adding Becky to my ‘woman I want to dry hump’ list!! Seriously – the singing alone won me over 🙂
See, it was the go kart song that made me think of you.
Vrrrooommmm vrrrrooommmm – Well it did get my motor running, I can’t lie 😉
I’m glad she wrote out the stages. I get stuck on how weird I look and can’t move past it.
Also thinking of doing five minutes of “guess that rack”
I think you could charge pay per view for the five minutes of guess that rack. However, be sure to take off the miraculous medal first so we don’t recognize you.
I’ll happily be a guest judge!
Sigh… another adorably silly V-blogger to follow. I had secretly hoped she couldn’t possibly be as funny in realz life as her posts are.
And she’s even cuter than I imagined, too. THAT BITCH.
I KNOW! Now I totally gnome moon her!
You mean you short-pointy-penis-with-oddly-symmetrically-balls-her?
1) You’re a child.
2) Let’s be friends.
If I don’t face plant into the couch when I get home I’ll be here watching people. I’m like Sting like that.
If you tell Duf that Andy will be there, too, you won’t be able to keep her off your front lawn.
As if I’d want her to leave! Unless she’s the pied piper of fire ants. Then everyone’s got to go!
The drunk kitchen woman. Dig her. Then she starts drinking. Dig her more. When you are her BFF I will already have moved in with her. It will be nice to meet you.
I expect a dinner invite. I’ll bring limes.
I’m really afraid that dog in Becky’s vlog is going to have shaken puppy syndrome.
Love the drunk kitchen woman. She should probably invite us all over for tacos (like nachos in your hand) and Jargaritas. Mmmmm…
Everything tastes better out of a mason jar. True story.
These are some seriously sassy, hilarious ladies.
Word. My blog is practically dripping with girl power today. At least I hope that’s girl power. Otherwise, ew.
Drunk kitchen girl rocks! Ooooh, she gives me the giggles. And I’m also now hungry for margaritas.
To be fair, are you ever NOT hungry for margaritas?
Also? I totally less than three you.
I gnome moon you, too.
I love Drunk Kitchen girl! She makes me wish I were a lesbeaux. <–fancy
Also, seeing my vlog here makes me want to tell myself to settle down, you're in public for cripes sake. Don't embarrass Elly on her own page.
Really? As I watched it for the fourteenth time I found myself pounding my fist on my desk and screaming, “Show us your tits!” I blame the glittery sweater. Which? FAAHHHHHHbulous.
I’m surprised I didn’t lose a tit during “Shout.” I mean, misplace a tit. And I mean, someplace other than my armpit.
At least you’re just forgetful and not smug…
I think I know what all four women have in common (and why you like them all so much): they ALL enjoy jargeritas.
P.S. This post must be forwarded to Tina Fey after which she hires you as executive producer/writer.
“i never guessed this tremblin machine would turn the motor on under my hood. go kart racing. accidentally masturbating. go kart racing …”
oh my fucking god that was funny.
Must buy go kart.
Must drunk taco.
Must marry Steamme (But not here in Indiana because hello! It’s no Massachusetts.)
Love and tittie giggles, Ninja Me
Yeah, I saw a couple of episodes of My Drunk Kitchen on another blog. I deny that I thought of you. Deny, deny, deny.
I less-than-three all of you. Frealz.
Can you even believe I’m a 30-year old male after reading that? I couldn’t be so presumptuous as to write “man” there. This is getting bad.
The margarita girl was HILARIOUS, and Steamy Upkid inspires me to “want to” do my own vlog. Anyone else thinking about this?
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