Gwen: I really don’t want to go this afternoon.
Me: Why?
Gwen: It’s going to be a pap smear factory.
Me: Ew. Did you trim your nails?
Gwen (looking at nails): Yup, they’re nice and short.
Me: Jeez! I was kidding!! You’re going to wear gloves aren’t you?
Gwen: Well duh…and by the end of the day, I hope I’m able to find a cervix.
Me: Just remember to put it back where you found it.