In My Life

Rather than try and be witty here while I’m distracted with a whole mess of anxious thoughts, I’ll just tell you to go read my new piece on instead. Because I made it a personal mission to see how many euphemisms for “penis” I could fit into a single piece.

Spoiler Alert: QUITE A FEW.

What do a Bavarian pretzel, a bubble wand, and a plastic syringe all have in common? If you’re in my home, they’ve all housed a small penis.

Before I give you this week’s ukulele video, I need to tell you about next Friday. And #WatchPaintDry. Actually, I’ll let them tell you. From their Facebook page:

#Watchpaintdry is grassroots action for artists of all kind to live-stream their art and disrupt social media channels during the 2017 US Inauguration events using hashtag #WatchPaintDry.

“The plan is to have so many people live-streaming themselves creating/performing/reporting/protesting 
that there will be a complete social media take over, as well as, alternative content available to people who would rather #watchpaintdry than watch the inauguration coverage.

In other words, I’m going to do the next Ukulele Friday LIVE.

*pauses to vomit*

Don’t panic. My stunningly talented and beautiful friend, Vanessa, has been tricked into agreed to help me. So most likely I’ll just sit here, making funny faces and mouthing the words while Vanessa does all the work. And who doesn’t want to watch that?!?

So put it in your calendar: 1/20 at 11am (eastern). We’ll be broadcasting on my FB page. I don’t think you have to have a FB account to see it, but I’m very often wrong about things. Just ask my mom.

And now, without (much) further ado, a ukulele video of a Beatles cover for your viewing pleasure: