I’m Still A Fifteen Year Old Boy

While I’m fairly certain I already reserved my spot in Hell many years ago, today’s Craftastrophe post pretty much guarantees my VIP pass for an eternity of Rod Stewart concerts.  Awesome.

I got a haircut, Interwebz.   More on the actual cutting tomorrow, but first I need to get something off my (ridiculously well dressed) chest.  Now that it’s behind me, I think I can talk about it.  Hold me Interwebz, I’m scared.  Here goes.

I had been watching a lot of American Idol (squeal!) over the past several weeks.  I kept hoping that little Tim guy would get voted off because his presence made me twitchy.  Every time he climbed on that stage and tossed his long, windswept bangs nonchalantly to the side I WANTED TO STAB HIM.  I had been complaining about that hair of his for weeks and then suddenly…

It hit me.

Tim Urban (note the stab worthy hair)

Elly Urban (note the stab worthy hair)

Alright so I haven’t really mastered his terrified, dear-caught-in-headlights smile…and I’m a couple of decades older than he is…but the resemblance is creepy, no? (Also it really makes me want to get my teeth whitened.)

Foolishly, I looked to Rocco for advice.  “Do you think I need a new hairstyle before I start going into the office?”

He looked at me sideways, “Are we calling that a style now?”

Later we watched an episode of SNL that we’d saved on the DVR.  You know, the one with Tina Fey hosting.  Any body remember the musical guest from that episode?  Any idea where I might be going with this?

“Who is that kid?” Rocco asked during one particularly amusing skit, confused by the child singing in a classroom.

“Justin Bieber,” I answered, not taking my eyes of the screen.

“How do you know these things?” Rocco asked.

“He’s in the Bible all the time,” I responded, motioning towards the latest issue of Us Weekly.

“Ok, but who IS he?  Why is he on here?” he persisted.

“He’s a tween heart throb singer type.  He’s like a solo Jonas Brother.”


“Like a solo Hanson?”

“Ah, got it.”  He seemed satisfied…until the musical number.  “What’s with the hair?”

“I dunno.  It’s his thing.  Kinda distracting though, isn’t it?”

“It reminds me of someone,” he hinted, pointedly.

“Oh it is kinda like Jess’s ‘do!” I swerved, dodging reality.

“Yeah.  That’s what I meant,” Rocco graciously followed my lead.

Justin Bieber

Elly Bieber

So yeah.  I got a hair cut.  The good news?  I no longer have the hair of a fifteen year old boy.  Bad news?  I still have the same emotional depth and sense of humor of a fifteen year old boy. Which reminds me…

You should really see these.  Be warned, the link probably qualifies as NSFW.  So don’t click it while your boss is in your cube, but you should definitely circle back after hours to see those things.  Even Rocco spent at least five minutes analyzing these…let’s call them costumes.


  1. I am not going to take a picture, because I have not showered yet today, BUT I HAVE THE SAME HAIRCUT. AND I have been having the Justin Bieber anxiety. Which used to be the “my sister and I have the exact same haircut” anxiety, and now it’s the “why do my sister and I have the exact same haircut as a tween hearthrob” anxiety.

    The problem is I start by cutting my hair super short against my head, like pixie short, and then I just don’t get it cut for six months.

    In my drivers license photo I look like a beatle.

    Anyway, the point it, we had the same haircut and you ruined it. And it’s Beibers fault.
    .-= Bridget Callahan´s last blog ..The Amusement Park: No One Loves a Broken Rollercoaster =-.

  2. you’re adorable! and def don’t need crest whitestrips. but i do think the new bras are working for you. nice rack in the blue sweatshirt!

    and btw, bieber bangs are way annoying even without the paranoia of thinking you might come close to having the same hair. i just want to go at them with edward scissorhands.

    need pics of new do.
    .-= patty punker´s last blog ..flogging patty =-.

  3. You won’t go to hell for calling attention to that Jesus bedazzler. As a single guy travelling and partying with an all-male posse of 12 guys, Jesus liked nothing better than rhinestone bling, I’m sure. No, you’ll go to hell for that Justin Bieber / Tim Urban haircut. And deservedly so.
    .-= Debra She Who Seeks´s last blog ..Laughter is Not Always the Best Medicine =-.

  4. I felt compelled to visit craftastrophe before I finished reading this entry and see yet another stellar find to tarnish my soul. Not disappointed.
    So, moving on…
    I love the hair. It’s plucky, sassy and fresh. I sound like the fresh prince of bel air.
    I’ve been watching idol but with slightly less fervor than last year and I’m not sure why.
    To sum up.
    Love your new hair.
    Craftastrophe will be my undoing.
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Things are Not as They Appear. =-.

  5. Dear Bug,

    Fired. Fired. Note to self: Do not read Bug’s blogs in a meeting or hit links. Thumbs up on the Penis hair do’s and not definitely a don’t. Hey, that’s my grandma’s Jesus stuff.

    Nice hair cut. Seriously. Don’t get me started on how AI is sucking the big baloney and Justin Beiber. So embarrassing. He is very very creepy.

    The penis hair do’s are definitely awesome. I am e-mailing them to my assistant. She loves me.


  6. I just find it odd that most teen heartthrobs now take their style cues from lesbians (not you though, you take them from the heartthrobs).

  7. Hmm…I think I might take the hint from all these other comments and NOT click on the link while my mom is sitting behind me. (My mom is not as cool as your mom, and I told her I had work to do on the computer…)

    I must remember to get my hair trimmed in the next month or so before _I_ develop that haircut.

  8. I double dog dare you to go to wherever the Idols are and stab Tim. I would be glued to my TV throughout the entire thing if you did that. The other thing I wanted to say is: Leave it to Bieber. Clever, eh? (PS: I arrived here via Nat’s Brain)
    .-= XUP´s last blog ..A Little Luxury =-.

  9. That link reminds me of back in the day when I used to watch Skinimax late at night, and sometimes during the fake sex scenes you would get a glimpse of the dude’s weiner, and he’d be wearing a sock over it and obvi not really using it if you get my drift.
    .-= Aunt Juicebox´s last blog ..Your Wish Is My Command =-.

  10. I love the hair… makes me jealous because I can’t do bangs… and can we talk about who has the time to dress up all those penises? Is that plural correct? is is peni? and what FLAIR they all have. I’m going to picture this while walking down main street tomorrow….
    .-= Ry Sal´s last blog ..Martha Watch =-.

    1. Just don’t try and stick your sunglasses on any of them, k? It’ll take me quite some time to get across all those rivers to bail you out.

  11. Wow. I think the haircut looks better on you than on either of the boys. I’m such a prude about wanting boys to look like boys and having short hair. I guess that’s what happens when you grow up on a military base!

    I wasn’t going to click the link, but I have to go see the penises now. Thank you for that.

    .-= Spot´s last blog ..Sean and I come up with ways to make money… =-.

  12. The haircut is rockin, so it suits you.

    As for the penis pics . . . I wonder what kind of qualifications I would need to be a penis stylist. I mean, in case my current job doesn’t work out.
    .-= Andrea´s last blog .."(Don’t Fear) The Reaper" =-.

  13. Oh I have never, ever wanted a penis of my own in my life….until I clicked on that link. Suddenly, my mind filled with all of these great ideas. Also, I find it hilarious that you warned everyone it wasn’t suitable for work, which clearly, just like my kids, was like a huge Eat me, Drink me sign. LOVE THAT.

    Ummm, I really do need to send you some pix of some of the me and the Drama Queen’s crafts. We have some really frightening ones. You would be so proud. Tomorrow we are now going to bejewel the sun God, thanks for the idea!
    .-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..WTF? WTH? What The What? =-.

    1. Well it turns out some of my readers aren’t even comfortable visiting a site called “SexIs” so I figured giant close-up photos of schlong should probably have a disclaimer. See the things I do for you beautiful people? I’m practically a saint.

  14. Oh my lord, the resemblance is uncanny!

    You have boobs though. You win.

    But I am with Rocco.

    Owly? WHO WHO?

    I called Justin Kid Justin Beaver. I asked my 6th grader about him and he rolled his eyes at me, couldn’t bring himself to utter his name.

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