Rocco: Girls really like horses, don’t they?
Me: Oh I dunno, I was never really that into them. Unless you count unicorns. But I sure liked horse books like My Friend Flicka.
Rocco: *coughs*
Me: Yes, I suppose girls really like horses.
Rocco: Wasn’t that Victoria’s secret?
Me: What?
Rocco: Didn’t she make it with the horses? Wasn’t that her secret?
Me: You mean Queen Victoria?
Rocco: Yeah! She’s the one with the underwear store, right?
Me: *blink, blink*
Rocco: …well that’s how it is in my mind anyway.
By the by, some wonderful people (that I obviously owe sexual favors to) nominated me for some awards over at Studio 30. If you have some free time, click here and pimp me. I’ll owe you a margarita…or twenty.
I was so obsessed with unicorns as a little girl it’s kind of embarrassing to talk about it.
So I won’t.
Boo. Now this is MY sad face. Which looks a lot like my why-isn’t-she-going-to-tell-us-embarrassing-unicorn-stories vagina face.
Hmmm. Since I was one of those that nominated you, expect an email concerning the date & time.
Yay! Thanks for that! The nomination I mean. Oh jeez.
I think it was either Catherine the Great or Lady Godiva who *loved* her some horses. Or so the rumors go.
Godiva just rode the “top” of the horse naked, right? Can I take you with me everywhere as my resident fact checker (and occasional wine enabler)?
I nomed you and voted for you. And Victoria’s Secret underwear was probably a chasity belt or something stupid like that.
You’re my pick for making out in a dark closet. I don’t need to make out with myself. Again. Today. *sigh*
What do you know? Pimpin’ IS easy!
Just call me Eazy E.
I always do, Hon. I always do.
Interspecies couplings make me uncomfortable and sad.
Maybe it’s this terrible flu though.
Anyway, my Victoria’s Secret bras lift and separate my rack beautifully making my bosoms appear lofty, heaving and reaching for the heavens on their own.
Then, because I don’t know how to care for my delicates I throw them in the washer and dryer and pop the metal underwire out.
This results in stabbed jugs and deflated cleavage.
See, that’s why I don’t wash my bras. Or my delicates. Bah dum bum.
That’s an outrage. That rack is considered a National Treasure. Why isn’t the government stepping in to help with it’s upkeep?
While Victoria’s Secret isn’t named after Queen Victoria, I think a Prince Albert IS named after her husband, Prince Albert. That’s probably what Rocco was thinking of.
Wasn’t it?
He’s ALWAYS thinking of Prince Albert.
while it was intended ironically, Victoria’s Secret actually was named after Queen Victoria.
See? Who says you can’t learn things here at BugginWord! Well done, HH!
That can’t possibly be true. Everyone knows that Queen Victoria went commando, and it was Catherine the Great that was into horses.
No idea what kind of unmentionables Catherine the Great wore, although I’m hoping “the Great” referred to her rack.
PS – I voted multiple times. Can I get a glass of Chateaux Le Flav?
I really do need to try that shit. I wonder if they sell it by the pitcher.
Votes. Check.
Panties. Check.
Phew.
Just don’t get them confused. I’d had to see you cramming your used skivvies into a ballot box. Again.
I thought Queen Victoria was the one with the husband with pierced junk. You know, the one who lived in the can…
Who knew Vicky and I had so much in common!
All girls like having sex with horses. Once you go horse, you never make it out of the emergency room.
I’m never uncrossing my legs again. Not even to pee.
Never mind all this horse bullshit, they are cloning a Wooly Mammoth in a lab RIGHT NOW. I don’t know about you guys but I bet I’LL make the biggest impression when I come tearing through your neighborhood on my daunting hairy tusked beast!
THen the mighty mammoth will take it’s place as the rightful heir of gentle but fierce almost imaginary creatures that we thought we’d never get to see.
I want them to clone T-Rex next, because that ALWAYS works well when it eats it’s trainers and escapes into the city streets.
So the wooly mammoth is the new minotaur?
Also T-rex has tiny arms. I don’t think it would be that hard to evade him.
Embarrassed to say I had a unicorn tapestry.
At least you said “had” rather than “have,” right?
I need to figure out how I get on that spreadsheet.
But seeing as I have gone on vacation with you, I think it will be a dreadful shame and travesty if you don’t win all of those categories. And I will picket and burn stuff and wear thick rimmed glasses and have sit ins with ukuleles if you don’t.
*slurp* Did you join Studio30 yet? That would help…
Consider yourself pimped in all of the categories.
I really like you.
I have to say I probably like Victoria’s Secret even more…because she did it with a horse.
I like you too. Now it feels like we should cuddle.
Man, that Victoria, she really kept it close to the vest with that one.
Though her combination barn/bedroom now makes SO much sense.
so glad i saw this today. i just sexed you up in every category. dayum, that was a ton of categories, too. well-deserved and congrats!!!!
I now feel vindicated for going into Victoria’s store and STILL purchase the grandmama panties there.
What about unicorn panties?
“Girls really like horses, don’t they…”
Sounds like somebody has been watching too much German porn.
I feel sort of duped. You do realize how excited I was when I read this title, right? But I know it is a hoax. Of course you will keep buying them……and wearing them. You and your damn dedication to your panties. Gah!!!
I was once knocked out by an angry hay eating horse.
That is all.