So. Hi. Monday. Awesome.
I blame Mercury and her stinky insistence on going retrograde. How hard core does that sound? “I’m about to go retrograde on your ass, punk!” Well, imagine AHHnold saying it and it sounds a little more bad ass, no? Or Donald Rumsfeld! *shudder*
Retrograde. It might be the scariest word ever. Well that and smegma.
Did you peg me for one of those astrology types? Well I am. Hook, line, and sinker. In fact, at my last hardcore gig, I used to refuse to talk to my boss on the phone when Mercury was in retrograde. But my boss was not the astrology type, so she’d still call me every twenty minutes. To compensate, I’d type up an email to summarize each conversation in the hopes of minimizing miscommunications. It made her batty. Also it gave me carpal tunnel. Also it never worked for long.
Because my computer would up and explode and the phone lines would crash. Because that’s how that bitch Mercury rolls when she’s in retrograde. She’s cruel and vindictive.
So between Mercury waging her war against my sanity, the second coming of the pee jugs today, the rain, and that all that real estate shit that happened last week that I’m still too mad to talk about BECA– USE IT’S STILL HAPPENING *breathes into paper bag* I might not be in the best of moods. I might even have one up on that Mercury bitch.
So here’s a video of a cat and a dolphin playing together. Because it seems on topic. And that’s all I’ve got for you today.