I’m thinking my next career should be in television. I have a brilliant idea for a new show. I dreamt about it last night. Are you ready for me to drop this brilliance on you?
Cooking with Steven Tyler.
Right? Am I right or what? I’m right, peeps. I’m sure of it.
Can’t you just picture our favorite dirty old man crawling seductively across a large marble island to smear whipped cream on guest Martha Stewart’s surprised face? Or how about this? After he butters up a cookie sheet while screeching a few bars of “Sweet Emotions,” he leans over to Rachel Ray, rubbing his fingers together and says something creepy like, “Even better than your EVOO, isn’t it baby?”
Seriously, would you not watch that shit?
Can you just imagine what Paula Deen would do to his skinny ass?
I’m slowly losing my mind, aren’t I? I think I’ll back away from the photo editing software and give Paula’s tongue a break.
No wait, just one more because that’s the kind of attention span I have today.
Don’t forget to enter to win your very own ukulele painted by your favorite Elly. And now there’s photographic evidence that he’s been licked by Paula. And that he’s 917 feet tall. Which is still apparently 5 inches shorter than John Larroquette.
Seriously. Someone take the keyboard away from me. Please.
Hey, an oral fixation is an oral fixation.
It’s official! My mother’s response to us picking up any foreign object, “A dog might have peed on that!†has been replaced with “Paula Deen might have licked on that!â€
I swear, I could look at pictures of her riding things all day long.
I like your new AVATAR!!!!! Tie me up baby!
Agreed! She’s adoraballs!
Must have been butter and/or mayo on the Uke and Steve Tyler’s belly… otherwise, I can’t see ol’ Paula licking ANYTHING.
“I like to dip his balls in butter y’all.”
Too much? Whatever, you put a picture of her licking people!
Paula Deen, balls, and butter can never EVER be too much.
God help us if the Paula Deen Licking meme ever collides with the LiLo’s crotch meme. We’ll be forced to call a Photoshop intervention.
*wrings hands while laughing maniacally*
Oh hell, who am I kidding? I’m sure we’re not the only two people currently trying to photoshop Paula’s head between LiLo’s thighs.
I’m more concerned about Rachael Ray cooking her dogs and family.
..all in UNDER 30 MINUTES!!!
paula deen needs a better bra. clearly.
Wow. That is a good point. I’ll take care of that when we’re making butter casserole for our dinner party with NPH.
Gee, and here I thought I was the only crazy person with strong opinions about other people’s foundation garments. Buy bras that fit, women of America!
I would watch that shit!
Steven better be careful, ’cause right now Paula’s only using her tongue, but if she bites him, he’ll live forever.
Are you sure that isn’t the other way around?
I would watch that show, just for the Martha Stewart episode. Given the way Paula’s tongue seems to be getting around I think maybe she should ask Martha to craft her a macrame tongue condom or at least some sort of homemade lubricant.
Now I want a macramed tongue condom, too. *sigh*
Paula gets to have all the fun. Except for the ham to the head. That shit looked deadly.
“I got hit by a hog, y’all!”
Don’t go into TV. I like you with a soul.
But I was gonna sell it…since I can’t seem to sell my effing apartment.
What Libby said!
It’s true that Steven Tyler is must-see-TV right now (and your cooking show sounds brilliant) but I suspect something is going to go very wrong regarding Tyler’s inappropriatisms. I smell an inevitable sexual harassment lawsuit brewing. Think about it. One of those Idol wannabes will likely get pissy after being booted and something Tyler intimated during one of his drug addled cat in heat moments is going to bite him in the ass faster than Charlie Sheen’s tiger.
(Okay. I have no idea what I’m saying as usual but I’m going to press submit anyway.)
I can’t help it. I still want to hump his face. Just a little.
Seriously that guy… When The American Idol started this new season, I was going about my business, then suddenly turned my head to the TV and wondered, “Who is that ugly chic next to JLo?!”
His makeup is WAY better than JLo’s.
Doing anything with Steven Tyler would be a hit. He pulls off the drugged out, bored, smarmy, pedopheliac, but always lovable thing.
I’m not big on violence, but I think Paula Deen getting whacked in the face by a ham was pretty funny. Maybe Stephen can lob a couple at her?