I <3 Emoticons

I’m all about the emoticons.  Well, maybe not ALL about them.  I get all stabby when AIM throws one of those smiley face rainbows across my window, but otherwise I take no major issues with emoticons.  In fact, Magda introduced me to the best one ever!

‹^› ‹(-¿-)› ‹^›

Yup.  I’m all for tools of self expression.

Except for this whole “<3” thing people are doing.  I understand that you THINK it looks like a heart.  It doesn’t.  It really doesn’t.  I can think of a slew of other things that little symbol brings to mind before a heart.  Don’t believe me?  Here’s a whole list right off the top of my head:

But most of all?  (Mom, stop reading now.)  It looks like a scrotum and shaft, folks.  Look at it again and tell me you still see a heart.  Right?  So when I people writing things like, “I <3 my new puppy!” I get a little freaked out.

It reminds me of this gal I worked with a zillion years ago.  She always got the words garner and garnish confused.  I was constantly chewing on the insides of my cheeks when she’d talk about her plan to garnish record sales for one of her artists.  I’m equally amused when I see people saying, “I <3 the Bahamas,” or “Canada <3’s Alexandre Bilodeau.”  (Poor Alex!  Yes, yes – we established quite some time ago that I’m thirteen.)

So I beg of you, Interwebz.  Stop using the symbol…unless you’re a gay man writing about Johnny Weir or Tiger Woods talking about pretty much anything with boobs.  That’s absolutely, one hundred percent the correct use of “<3.”


  1. I agree with you completely! It took me forever to figure out what the hell <3 was supposed to be! I'm going to think of it as a camel toe from now on (ewwww, skanky!) And Magda's emoticon rocks! But I don't understand why you said "Poor Alex"? In my abject innocence, what am I missing here?
    .-= Debra She Who Seeks´s last blog ..Happy Birthday, Loreena McKennitt! =-.

  2. Hey look everybody, it’s a fucking butterfly!


    It only seemed appropriate to say it that way. You, fuck is conversation pepper, it makes everything a little spicier. In this case, for example, it distracted you noticing how lame it was for me to post this…
    .-= KeepingYouAwake´s last blog ..Damn, I’m Opinionated =-.

  3. I <3ing love this post. I get these stupid emoticons in texts all the time. I hate lazy people. Let me repeat that for you. I hate lazy people. So much so that I will finish typing words on my BB after auto text has predicted what I am typing. Yeah, I know, I'm a crazy bitch like that.

    As for the reference to poor Alex, umm, he may like it. Just sayin.
    .-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..A Whole New Respect =-.

  4. BEST. EMOTICON. EVER!! Had no idea there is like ’emoticon art’! lol
    Also, I am hoping to one day narrate a Tim Burton character with really big boobs, so it’s random that you like knew my dream.
    xo love ya!
    .-= marymac´s last blog ..Hump Day: Erotica Book Review =-.

  5. I’m going to shamefully admit that until I read your post I had no idea what that meant every time I saw it. I’m all like “that must be some sort of crazy typo”. Like I have said before, I learn something new every SINGLE time I skip over here. Thank God you are here.
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Alone =-.

  6. I love this post, almost as much as I hate the Tarheels. I do think it looks like balls wearing a dunce cap, which is sooooooo appropriate because when mean think with their dick it makes them stupid……its the interwebz symbol for a man thinking with his dick <3 ……that is what I thought it was……..hmmmmm, guess I have been enlightened as well…..just another symbol for a dumbass heart. Whatevs, bleh.
    .-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..A Whole New Respect =-.

  7. Love it!

    This is a bit big, but is kind of cute:

    “_________(, _______________),
    ____(_, d888888888b, d888888888b
    ___, _Y88P_(_(_(________)_)_)_d88Y_,
    ____Y88b, __(o__)______(o__)_d8888P
    ____, d/O\_________c_________/O\b,
    ______\_/’., ______w______, .’\_/
    ________/___, _d88b__d88b____\
    _______`\_`.__\d8888888b, _/\\/
    ________, _d88p””q88888p””q888b,
    .-= BrokenBIro´s last blog ..Liverpool’s Second Most Romantic Poet =-.

  8. I <3 gay men who <3 Jhonny Weir. Seriously, what's not to <3?!

    And I also <3 ‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

    Did you tweet about the best emoticon eva yet? 'cause I need to RT it!
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Makeup =-.

  9. I totally left you a comment telling you how I <3 gay men who <3 Johnny Weir. Apparently you didn't like that so you had your computer eat it. FINE. Be that way.

    Please tweet about the best emoticon eva so I can RT it. The Internet needs to know its existence. It's the power inside the disc that got thrown into the Master Control Program at the end of Tron.
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Makeup =-.

  10. Wow. Tron. The internet is dripping with the 80’s today and I’m loving it!

    I assure you, the puter will be punished for <3ing your comment.

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