Gratuitous Nursery Pictures

Seeing as how today is my actual due date – AND I’M STILL PREGNANT – I’m going to spend the day on my feet bouncing, attempting lunges, and trying to resist the urge to throw myself down a flight of stairs.  Dad says that almost always induces labor.  I just haven’t tried it yet because labor sounds plenty painful without the complication of compound fractures.


Not that I ever cut things close, but the last piece of furniture for the nursery finally arrived.  So at the risk of being one of those over-the-top pregnant chicks – you know the kind that insist on documenting bellies with a series of awkward pregnancy photos (seriously – weirdest link EVER) I’m posting some nursery pics.  Because I can.  And that’s just the kind of day I’m having.  So there.

I’m still feeling a little guilty about not painting a mural or something big on one of the walls.  But truth be told, I’d have an awful hard time painting over that when Parasite Paul outgrew the thing.  So I just settled for making just one little wall hanging and the mobile.  I think it’ll be less emotionally taxing to throw those in a box then spread Kilz all over a wall.

It’s going to get nasty when Mildred realizes it’s not HER room.

Ok, little dude.  Your room is ready.  Now GET THE FUCK OUT ALREADY.


I’m off to rent a trampoline.


  1. Before we even get started. Here is a link that by the power of tube socks and the sheer force of the impact on the snare drum will force Paul out.
    Anyway, this makes me all warm inside. The nursery not the Cope. Also, I am making a mental notation that Paul has no Woolly Mammoth toys to play with.

  2. I always hear about how sex induces labor faster than anything. Tell your husband, “Your welcome” for me.

    The nursery looks great, by the way.

  3. Today would be a GREAT day for the parasite to have for a birthday. A. AWESOME. DAY. for a birthday.

    Just sayin.

    Carry on with the stair walking or *ahem* other labor-inducing exercises.

  4. Just try chanting…

    “Olly Olly Oxen Free, come out come out wherever you are!”

    If that doesn’t work order Chinese.

  5. The nursery is beautiful.

    I went into labor on my due date, hang in there chicka you still have some time before the calendar changes.

    Also, that link for awkward baby photos. Some things just can’t be unseen. The one with the watermelon and gun spoke to me though. I don’t know if I should admit that or not.

  6. Oh girl! That nursery is beautiful. Parasite Paul doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you for a mom. I know (deep deep in my bones) that you are going to be a great one.

    Sex does indeed work. That’s how we got Lu to come out 4 days early. It was the easiest and quickest delivery as well. Plus it’ll put you in a good mood. Win-win.

    Good luck, muffin. *smooches*


  7. SOOO adorable, and I think you did right by not painting all the walls with deers or birds or something…that kid is gonna grow up and seriously get sick of that and then it’s gonna cost $$$ to get it off.

    My fingers are crossed for a safe and peaceful (it could happen!) delivery.

  8. Awwwww too damned cute! Have you tried coaxing him out with something? Hmmm oooh a squeaky toy?! Boys like boobs, but I pray to God you can’t coax him out with your own. LOL

  9. Now is probably not a nice time to tell you both of my brats were a week overdue, and one had to be forced out. I knew they had serious attitude problems before they ever made an appearance.

  10. Awwwwww. Just think, you’ll be saying the same thing to him 25 years from now when you’re trying to dislodge his lazy pot-smokin’ computer-game playin’ ass out of your house to go get a job and his own place already.

  11. Yes. Keep it simple. For some reason we had freakish clowns in my daughter’s nursery 17 years ago. This likely explains her attraction to emotionally disturbed boys who like to wear make-up.

  12. I love the shade of blue and the owls are adorable! Sending vibes for baby parasite to vacate your premises post haste, full of health and vigor, and that he makes it EASY for his mama to help him make his entrance.~

  13. i want that room! btw, there are several pressure points that can help shoot kids out. send me a message on FB if you’re interested. also, sex and chinese food have been known to work.

  14. Zomgs, my uterus is contracting. Or expanding. Or yodeling high on a mountain top – fortyalmostfuckingtwo! Baby, baby, baby!

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