Glass Half Something-or-other

Recently, someone told me I was a “glass half empty” kind of gal.

I couldn’t have been more surprised if she’d said I was three feet tall and smelled like chartreuse.

I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly positive person.  Sure, I’m not exactly a I’ll-go-ahead-and-make-up-my-guest-bed-’cause-NPH-is-in-town-and-we’ll-doubtlessly-run-into-one-another-become-besties-and-have-an-impromptu-slumber-party-tonight-and-while-I’m-at-it-I-should-buy-a-crate-of-marshmallows-for-his-unicorn sort of person.  In fact, I’m more of a have-a-hundred-bucks-and-a-large-knife-taped-to-the-underside-of-my-desk-in-case-the-world-explodes sort of person.

Is that the same mentality as glass half empty?  I dunno.  I guess it’s just semantics, but I think that’s called being a realist, being proactive.  I wouldn’t say it’s pessimistic.

Actually, if you cross your eyes, I think that believing realism isn’t pessimistic is actually a pretty optimistic outlook on things.

Whatevs.  It’s taken me a few weeks to come to terms with it, but I’m officially stating for the record here and now that I AM a glass half empty kinda gal.  And I’m ok with it.  Because if I’m prepared for a glass to be half empty, I won’t be disappointed when it arrives and I can focus on the important stuff – the fluid said glass contains.

I can celebrate the clarity of the water, savor the sanguine smell of the wine, enjoy the slivers of pulp in the orange juice, smile at the bubbles exploding on my tongue, pause to let a piece of crushed ice melt against the roof of my mouth.  Whether it’s full or empty is not as important to me as what the glass contains.

That and whether or not I get free refills.


  1. And when you are done with that half empty glass of yummy goodness might I suggest throwing it at the person who called you half empty?

    Or is that too violent?

  2. I knew there was a reason I gnome mooned you. My glass is always half empty, but only because I’m putting it to my mouth and taking a great big ass swig of life. Let the optimist see it as half full, so long as they top it off for me.

  3. there’s a big difference in being realistic (depending on your perception of reality) and being pessimistic (just so you know, the knife and cash under the desk = pessimistic).

    knowing how to kill a zombie = realistic. assuming you will need to know how to kill a zombie = pessimistic.

    just don’t turn into a helicopter mom who won’t let her son out of the house ’cause he could get hurt, or play football ’cause he could get hurt, or eat fish ’cause he could get hurt = pessimistic. Keeping some antiseptic, bandaids, and a pair of forceps in the medicine cabinet = realistic.

    just keep it real……

  4. Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will dull. Only he who is contented is rich.

    There are those who see half a glass and want more, there are those who see water as a problem and want less. I know that eventually the glass will be empty. Because it was drank, spilled, or just evaporated.

    There is something to be said for taking the middle road.

    Seeing a glass as half empty or full is to look at it in a moment in time. The fact is that the water in that glass will soon be gone. Appreciate it while you have it and stop worrying about how much of the glass it fills up.

    Is the glass half empty or half-full? Who cares. “Am I content with the amount of the water in my glass” is a far more important question. Enlightenment is answering yes even when it’s bone dry.

  5. Wait, did someone just type: “knowing how to kill a zombie = realistic”

  6. “Be prepared” is the Boyscout motto. Who calls Boyscouts pessimistic?

    A decent book on the difference between the two and how the two views affect one’s life (and written by a reformed pessimist) is Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman. He’s a pretty smart dude.

  7. You may keep a knife taped to the underside of your desk but can you throw it with any degree of accuracy?
    Anyway, I’m having trouble coming to terms with the half glass empty thing because it’s not true.
    Sorry random, nameless stranger, I consider this noncompliance with the book of known facts.
    Wow, this comment reads like George Orwell’s 1984.
    Scratch the whole thing.

  8. I’m a realist. What I like that to mean is this: if I’m thirsty I’m gonna drink whats is in that glass. If that means I’m a glass-empty kinda guy? So be it. ‘Least I aint thirsty no more.

  9. I had a similarly surprising experience once when someone called me “high maintenance.” I was speechless at first. Then I threw a major tantrum and slapped that beyotch down HARD!

  10. Why do people say stuff like that? It’s like they are trying to bully you in to being Pollyanna. I never give people hell because they aren’t realistic enough.


  11. I like people who sit me down and prepare to serve me up a giant helping of “HOME TRUTHS”. After I listen to the list I climb astride my majestic woolly mammoth and crush them in the most brutal way imaginable.
    Then I officially rename my mammoth Home Truth and comb out his long coat of impressive fur!

  12. Hey, you’ll survive the zombiepocolyps while the half-fullers are wetting themselves, being nommed on by Vincent Price and sure everything will be fine.

    I’m with you, Kid! Now, about that $100…

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