I’ve never chewed my way through a screen, but I’m pretty sure my brothers have had this conversation.
While there’s not much I won’t do for a laugh, I won’t be donning this for your amusement.
And last but not least, this is the single scariest picture I’ve ever seen.
Need me to help you focus on the scary part? Here you go.
That’s a foot hanging out a hooch. I’ve ridden enough planes, sat through enough movies, and sang through enough musicals with my tall siblings to know that long limbs are always extended into aisles. Did I tell you Paul is tall? The one time you don’t want to hear your kid is “above average” is when he’s planning on blowing his way out your kayak. My vagina is an aisle. And this kid needs leg room. Oh dear GOD.
In the words of Forrest Gump, that’s all I have to say about that.
Head down, Paul. Do you hear? HEAD DOWN!!!!
Screw having a doula, will you come coach Paul?
Your brothers have impeccably retro taste. Who says ’40s elegance is dead?
Just forbid everyone from screaming “INTERPRETIVE DANCE” while you’re giving birth and you should be fine.
Oh sweet Morgan Freeman, I don’t think my hooch can handle jazz hands.
my vagina just screamed in horror. ((shudder))
I know, right? Mine has been whimpering despondently for a month solid already.
I’ll just say thank you for not getting on those particular fashion trends.
P.S.: I agree. That is truly some scary imagery that picture creates.
I’m here for YOU. And the cheesecake. Now pony up.
*bad memories cringe face*
You know what that picture says to me?
It’s cold out there so let me sample the outside environment gingerly and tentatively just with the tip of this toe.
Wow, it’s fucking sub zero compared to tepid water world, let me crawl back up until the drugs kick in.
My hooch is the the sands beside the Pacific Ocean. That’s a little better than an airplane aisle I suppose.
Honestly, I was most horrified by that skirt! Is that wrong of me?
What can I say? My kayak and I have seen a lot……… 🙂 ummmm…….of childbirth situations, yeah, that’s where I was going with that….*lying but quick recovery vagina face*
I thought you were going to say “sexy burlap sacks held around her with ribbon.”
Jesus H. Christo! My vagina just fainted. And that’s only because of the maternity “skirt.” It went into a coma after the footling business. I guess it’s better than the baby reaching out a hand and saying, “Can I get a high five?”
um someone should have left the french brocante empty-handed. she didn’t make good with those vintage materials and ribbons.
best blunt card for your brothers ever!
The more I think about it the more I’m feeling like I missed an opportunity to have someone “blow through my kayak” since my kids were c-section.
Mine was more like John Hurt’s Nostromo dinner time Alien unveiling but with a spinal.
Once again, we women trumped men. You think your hernia is bad? Try having a foot hanging out of your vagina!
p.s. of course, I understand that this situation in real life is very very dangerous and not a joking matter. etc etc.
…..blowing….his….way…out…of your kayak….
That baby looks like he’s dipping his foot into a pool. Hopefully he’ll find it too cold and pull that thing back in.
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