Five Uke’s Time

Did y’all know imma stubborn mule?  Hopefully that’s not hereditary but looking at my kinfolk, the odds seem high.

Also I have no idea why I’m talkin’ like I just come back from a family reunion in rural Appalachia.  Oh well, hit don’t make no never you mind.  It’s probably just the lack of sleep.

So yes, I’m stubborn.  Like say, for example, my ultimate bloggy, vloggy, girl crush requests a uke video.  And I get all, “I’m going to make her the best uke video in the history of all uke videos and then maybe she won’t notice if I sniff her hair and steal her pen as a memento of our glorious time together when she finally shows up to one of those BlogHer things.”

But it turns out her song is HARD, y’all.  With, like, non-repetitive lyrics.  And a complicated strum pattern.  And lots of harmonies.  And…generally…HARD.

So I go all, “I’ll just do one of those multi-window video things that all the cool vloggers do and it’ll solve all my problems AND make for the most kick-ass ukulele video since the invention of ukuleles and videos and space unicorns.”

But then I find out that I have to do it on the mac, so I need some sort of converter for my files.  Then it turns out I can’t do it on my mac, so I have to convert them back.  And then no – no, really – it has to be on the mac but I have to download some new software and then do some weird import/export dance that makes me want to stab my eyes out and crashes the whole machine every 3 minutes and also there’s really no way to make the clips line up without just resolving myself to completely and utterly losing my mind.

And then, what feels like five years later, I have a finished video.  And it is woefully unexciting.  But because I’m stubborn and (yet again) spent all my time trying to figure out this effing program instead of…say…practicing my ukulele, I’m posting this shit anyway.

So Steamy, please remember it’s the thought that counts.  And as a compromise, I promise not to steal your pen.  (I’m still totally sniffing those golden locks of yours, though.)

Now you can cleanse your auditory and visual senses with a real video – Muppet style!  (Thanks for not letting me miss that, Abigail!)

It’s not quite MSBT, so you guys just go ahead and keep on drinking without me. *sigh*


  1. Um, this is amazeballs. And my dog really likes it when you whistle. She comes and sits next to the couch. The bitch (and I mean that in the properest sense of the word) doesn’t even come when I call her.

    Properest is totally a word.

  2. That was great. There aren’t words to say how great it was. That just means there aren’t words, not that it isn’t the greatest, because it is.

    1. I must second this motion before I attempt another comment at the bottom of the page. My hand is RAISED!

  3. In my hasty excitement I read the comments before watching the video and was mislead, thinking you would be performing Lionel Ritchie’s “Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady” . Prepared
    To offer you all kinds of cautionary tales of why you could end up double pregnant again in a minute flat when this song is playing cause nothing greases those sex wheels like the smooth stylings of the master.
    Turns out I was GROSSLY misinformed and that it’s you in triplicate (like government forms only more adorable) singing heartwarming things about sunshine and goodness.
    Happy Friday!

    1. Coincidentally, I AM easy like Sunday morning. Probably even easier. I mean, I AM knocked the fuck up. If that doesn’t say easy, I dunno what does.

  4. Absolutely ace. Loved this.

    Of course, you may regret acceding to Steamy’s demands, because she will take further advantage and everyone knows she is a harsh task-mistress.

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