Fisherman’s Blues

It’s still winter. Allegedly it’s going to snow this weekend. Hold please while I try and tamp down the excitement I inevitably feel at the mere mention of snow.

What is it about this weather that makes me want ALL THE CARBS? Ok, in truth I want ALL the carbs ALL year long. But winter makes me want ALL the HOT carbs.

Chocolate chip cookie? Meh. I mean, maybe? I guess I’ll take one. What’s that? It’s still warm? I WILL RIP IT FROM YOUR FROSTBIT FINGERS AND ABANDON YOU ON THE TUNDRA.

Because a cookie would totally stay warm in that scenario.

Is it just me, or does the word “Tundra” sound like what Skeletor would call Mr. Tumnus were he to somehow travel through the wardrobe while fleeing He-man? No? Perhaps I am just predisposed to Narnia references ever since reading the best-titled McSweeney’s piece in the history of ever.

But seriously with the hot carbs. We had muffins for dinner last night. The night before I MADE bagels. Like with flour and kneading and shit. What was I thinking?! Oh, I remember. I was thinking a quick jaunt through a toaster oven from a pre-made bagel wasn’t going to satiate my need for blistering-hot buns.

“Blistering-hot buns” is NOT my pet name for Rocco, just to be clear.

On to the ukulele! It’s a good thing I’m on this quest to play more uke because if my hands are full of tiny, stringed instruments then they can’t be adding yeast to warm water, right? Or adding chocolate chips to a scone mix. Or wrapping absolutely anything in cheese and dough.

And here we are on week three! Three consecutive weeks! GO ME! That constitutes being on a roll, right?

Dammit. Now I want a nice, hot yeast roll with a slab of butter melting down the sides. Quick, someone look up the tab for “Let’s Get Physical.”