Female Ninja Magic

Mom:  Now would be a good time to lie, honey.

Me:  While I am quite capable, I’m not doing it right now.

Mom:  You mean you’re not writing a blog?


Me:  Not a fan of today’s post, eh?

Mom:  You know, I much prefer the ukulele ones to the vagina ones.

Me:  Well wait until I figure out how to put the two together.

And that, Interwebz, is as good as this post is going to get.  Because I still haven’t figured out how to put the two together.  So this one is just about vaginas.  Well, it’s really only about one vagina.  On second thought, it’s not so much about the vagina itself as much as it is about one vagina’s bubbles.  And ninjas.  No really.

In the name of all that is holy, why are you still reading this?

I really wavered on whether or not to post this video.  Contrary to popular opinion, I DO have a line and I think this is probably just barely past said line.  But really, I don’t think I have a choice in the matter.

I giggled madly when one person sent me a link to this video, but I just filed it in the back of my brain, planning to send it to some friends on their birthdays.  Then a second person sent me a link to this video.  And then a third.  And then I realized three things:

  1. I talk about vaginas WAY too much.
  2. If you whisper “youtube” a bunch of time in a row really fast, it sounds like fat thighs running while wearing corduroys.
  3. You people expect me to post this sort of thing, so now I HAVE to.

So for you two readers that didn’t send me this link directly, I present you with video documentation of female ninja magic.  You probably shouldn’t watch this video at work.  Or with your kids.   Or, you know…ever.

Consider yourself warned…


  1. Hahahahahaha. This movie will be added to my collection. Right along side the Thai musical classic “Iron Pussy”.

  2. Bubbles! Pretty! Oh wait, WHAT?

    I thought the last guy was going to recommend some douche product. Seriously.

    And also, I want to see if I can pull that off at my next ob/gyn appointment.

    1. STD’s are dangerous things. I’m not always going to be able to bail you out with my secret stockpile of Cipro, pookie. You have to stop licking strangers.

    1. Dude. If I found documentation of ukulele and vagina interaction, you would most definitely know about it. As would the entire world. And it would be glorious.

  3. Okay, go down to the local Sex Toys Shop, yes? Buy one of those gross artificial vaginas made out of rubber and fur. Strum Herbert with it. TA DA!!! Can’t wait for your next ukulele video now.

  4. Two things: One, while Drama Queen would think this is hilarious, I fear the teacher’s call I would receive wanting to know why all of the students in her Freshman Academy are talking about Vagina Bubbles, because while really harmless, it doesn’t translate easily. Second, ummmm, WTF??!!! Oh, no, three things, did you read Crissy’s post on Toy With Me last week, because it was all about clean vaginas, and, well, yeah, this just made me think of it. hahahaha!!!

  5. Don’t you hate when that happens. You’re pleasantly sparring in an erotically violent manner with a ninja when suddenly the chick pumps out some vagina bubbles and wins the battle rendering your ninja powers null and void? If I had a penny for every time that shit happened, I’d have 11 cents by now.


    That’s it!

    I wore hose this week, and I’ve reached a time in my life during which my thighs rub together. They made that sound.

    Thank you for that.

    1. Why the hell are you wearing hose in September? I feel like I’m suddenly watching a remake of Steel Magnolias. I call dibs on the role of Weeza.

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