Driving Conversations

Thom:  I had a revelation the other day.

Me:  With Jesus and everything?

Thom:  Yup.

Me:  Bring it.

Thom:  Tom Brokaw is the same age as Mom.

Me:  For reals?

Thom:  He was being interviewed and said he was almost 70.

Me:  And how did that get you to Jesus.

Thom:  He was 33 when he died and 33 is a multiple of 3 as is 69.

Rocco:  That was some pretty impressive bullshit for making it up on the spot.

Rocco:  Peg said your dad is real excited about this weekend.

Thom:  What, has he been nipping?

Me:  Yes Thom, all day.  Can’t you hear the conversation now?  “Goddman Peg, my nipples have been hard all day.  I guess I’m real excited to see the kids.”

Thom:  “I’m chafing!”

Rocco:  How long is this one?

Me:  Google maps says we’re not even in the traffic yet.  It doesn’t go all red and black for a couple miles.

Thom:  We’re in pre-traffic – the milky white discharge that happens before you hit the traffic.

Thom:  So my buddy has a new pick up line he’s threatening to try.

Me:  This cannot end well.

Rocco:  Well what is it?

Thom:  “Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform?”


  1. Oh fucking hell… I loved it.. Especially the new pickup line…. epic. The nipple chaffing was good too…Not that nipple chaffing is good. See, this is why I don’t talk much.
    .-= mepsipax´s last blog ..Ifuck =-.

    1. I read that too fast and could have sworn you said “unicorn sex.” I may need to catch up on sleep. Fortunately we have plenty of chloroform.

  2. For the purposes of enjoying this even more, I’m pretending that these conversations are not happening in the privacy of a single car, but perhaps on a cross-country bus. In front of some Republicans.

    (I almost wrote nuns, but thought Republicans was funnier…agreed?)
    .-= Falling´s last blog ..If Only Jack Had Invoked This Rule =-.

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