My plumbing is broken, my uterus is leaking, and the zombie is back in my fireplace. Obviously the way to solve all these problems at once is to run away, and that’s just what I’m going to do.
I have a big day of garden traipsing and museum browsing planned. Before I break my two river rule (yet again), I have to share THE BEST comment on the blog this week.
Thursday, I shared a little story about telling a completely inappropriate joke during a job interview. If you really want the back story that bad, you can read it here. Who am I kidding? Of course you my dedicated reader have already embroidered the joke on a throw pillow, right?
Enter Miss Spoken – my new stalker obsession and soon to be yours. (Seriously, go check her out. Just don’t leave me forever.) She eloquently and effectively reminded me of just what an amateur I am:
Ouch, I feel your pain, Sister. Once upon a time somebody introduced me to their mother and the introduction was all about how funny I was (sometimes true but usually requires alcohol and nudity). “Tell my mom a joke,” he wailed.
“So … what’s the difference between acne and a pedophile?”
[more crickets, accompanied by my friend’s collapsing grin because he knows the punchline]
“Acne doesn’t come on your face until you’re at least thirteen.”:
[even the crickets are silent]
Hat tips to Miss Spoken. You totally win. I bow to your fabulosity of inappropriateness. Let me know when an internship becomes available.