Once upon a time (or a few months ago), a brilliant and beautiful blogger posted about how her wee two year old son randomly turned to her and said, “Mommy, you are a possibility.”
Is anyone else crying yet? Am I still suffering from sleep deprivation and PMS? Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?
Fine. Maybe I AM still sleepy and hormonal, but I’m still convinced it’s a pretty damn magical statement. I just can’t stop thinking about it. I find myself randomly repeating it under my breath when I try and envision what 2011 is going to be. I am a possibility.
And I’m not the only one, damnit! I told a friend about this new mantra of mine, and she’s thinking about having it tattooed on her wrist. Well, not the whole thing. Just “possibility.” The “mommy” part would be really weird seeing as how she doesn’t have kids. Crap I’m off track again…
Anything is possible. The world is my mollusk, as some would say.
The world is YOUR mollusk, too. YOU are a possibility. Doesn’t that make your heart sing?
Just imagine your possibilities! This time next year, you could be living in London and providing medical assistance to the undeserved. Or maybe you’ll be remarried and pregnant with twins. Maybe you’ll finally have landed that new job that allowed you to move back home to a quaint little town near your aging parents. Or maybe this is the year where you’ll have that sudden “Eureka!” moment that shows you just what you want to be doing with your life. Anything could happen! In twelve months time, you could have your green card and be living in Hawaii on the movie set of your screenplay. Maybe you’ll be Blogger of the Year and explode into internet superstardom! Or you could be dwelling in a Yurt somewhere off the grid like New Mexico, bartering the sweaters you knit from your home grown alpaca yarn for food and grain alcohol.
Or…you could be exactly where you are now…if you’re happy and contented and want to stay there. That’s ok, too. Not everyone is built for yurt living.
After reading this post (which also has crawled into my brain and evicted the lyrics of “Everybody Wang Chung Tonight” so that it could permanently reside there), I tried to write my own manifesto for the New Year…and failed miserably. See, I just keep coming back to being a possibility. I think that’s more than enough. So with that, here’s my list of New Year’s resolutions *slash* manifesto *slash* to-do list *slash* shit to carve into a stone tablet next time I’m wearing a toga and need to wax my ‘stache:
I know a year might not sound like much time, but I disagree. Not to get even hokier and more dramatic on your already overwhelmed asses (I see those um-Elly-we-come-here-to-read-about-crotch-jokes-and-ukulele-sex-what’s-with-all-this-sentimental-booshit vagina faces), but it’s been a few years since I’ve been able to think about planning for a whole new YEAR. I’ve been planning in three month chunks for what seems like an eternity. But this year? I’m planning and daydreaming for the whole damn thing.
Besides, your whole world can change in a single instant. Do you know how many possible instants there are in 2011? Shit, it’s only January 4th and I think I’ve had seventy-two life changing instants already. I’m so excited to be a possibility, I could piddle.
Wow, that’s rather profound.
And this year, more than any other, I am a possibility. And I already pissed my pants about it.
*soggy britches fist bumps*
I love the idea of being a possibility! I want to be a possibility damn it. I have a lot to do this year too. Big things. So it definitely rings true.
I also want to adopt the word “piddle” because it’s the most perfect word ever and I haven’t used it since I was about ten and my dog piddled(!) on the carpet.
My piddle is your piddle. Feel free to splash around to your delight. But don’t get it on Hamish. He’s bad with moisture.
Yurts are overrated. Being a possibility is not — piddle on, Elly, piddle on!
Quick! Find me an emo british band to perform the soon-to-be-classic Piddle On!
I usually work hard to break other people’s resolutions, but you ARE a possibility. Damn you and your ability to find a way around my dastardly plans!!!
Um. Did I mention that debauchery is a possibility? Does that help?
Quite possibly the most inspirational post of 2011.
Will you make out with me?
I thought you’d never ask. But not until all the snow is gone.
I wanna be a posability too. And now there is a song in my head…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2C2LP_dU9Q
Holy crap I think I just felt something twitch near my fallopian tube.
Okay, I am now glowing from the inside. I wonder if anyone else can see it. Oh, and Tom, I already claimed her.
I see it! You look mildly radioactive, but I think it works on you!
HAAA Piddle…you are the cutest thing ever!!
I think I’d like to be a possibility too (now I’m hearing the Dr. Pepper song)
…and now I hear that little Indian guy from Short Circuit saying, “Wouldn’t you like to be a possibility, too?”
I think I’m leaning toward being a likelihood with a probability happening? Not as good as a possibility but it’s like the ugly bitter little sister with nowhere near the same potential. Just like me!
Anyway all this talk about waxing your face got me looking in the car vanity mirror while out here in the blinding sunlight and all I can think of is Bigfoot’s baby sister.
How has my waxing guru at the spa been missing so MUCH facial growth during our visits??
Is it weird if I want to slather your hairy body down with butter? It is. I should probably stop listening to this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WifgVp3f0BU
You had to bring up alpacas.
I love deep thoughts from tiny humans. It makes me believe in reincarnation when kids say shit like that with such wisdom.
It makes me believe in less time with Dr. Phil on in the background.
My four year old son said as I was tucking him into bed, “Mommy, you’re braver than you think you are.” I was floored. Sure, he probably got it from “Toy Story” or something, but damn.
Heart. Melting. My cat’s never say anything profound, damnit.
I love you.
That is all.
…and that is all I need.
I would also advise that you be careful what crazy plans you make, because you might suddenly find that your plan WORKED and you’re living in NJ (okay, you do that already), halfway through a PhD in something ridiculous like science.
Warning given, I am excited you get to plan for an entire year and be a possibility.
(My New Year’s Resolution is to not leave my shoes in places where Aaron will trip on them.)
I’m going to suggest that resolution to Rocco, too. The key is to be a possibility, not a liability.
let’s put that yurt on dufmanno island and give it a real view then we’re talking possibility.
also, it just makes me happy as all get out to hear you thinking in terms of a whole year and not in three months. *happy tears*
What Patty said. Everything.
Word to both you beautiful ladies. We can fin a hot tub in our yurt, right?
I was going to say I Love You but I can see that has already been stated… Therefore I’ll sing… Did you never know that you’re my hero……
If you need me, I’ll be spinning on an Austrian mountaintop…. Hugs.
And PS. I’m glad that the two year old was able to have such an effect… He’d thank you himself, but he’s elbows deep in rewriting Kafka. Kids these days.
Seriously. He’s sitting on my shoulder and chanting the words at this very moment. Shouldn’t he be in school or something?
Not fair Elly, just not fair at all. I’m working. I have no alcohol here and I am trying to hide the fact that this post made my eyes pee their pants.
Do you think they make Depends for eyes? I feel a product launch coming on…
coming from you this is like an epiphany… 🙂
Coming from me, it tends to reek of booze and unkempt hamsters. 🙂
Several years ago, I participated in an intense, two day workshop about “mastery,” meaning living one’s life as a possibility. As I was quietly listening and trying to absorb what I was hearing, the person next to me turned to me, shook her head and whispered, “I have no idea what they are talking about.” She then threw up on me. The word “possibility” now makes me want to put on a raincoat.
Yeesh. Is it weird that I think that’s still kinda awesome? Probably. But truth be told I find other people’s vomit stories incredibly amusing. And raincoats. I might have piddled again.
Can I hug you now?
You know what? I think I could totally do the yurt thing.
Is it just me or does the word yurt sound like something that squeezes out of your lower body when you vomit with too much intensity?
Enjoyed this post…can’t wait to read more!
“There is no use trying,” said Alice; “One can’t believe impossible things.”
“I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” ~Lewis Carroll
*sigh* How do you keep crawling into my head? Try to ignore that area with Justin Timberlake and the pudding, ok? I’m a little embarrassed about that area.
I loved it when I read it too. Imagine turning to someone and tell them that?
Go be all that you can be Elly! You m’lady are a possibility!
…and you are too, beautiful. As our those magnificent sons of yours. *clinks glasses* To possibilities!
And I am inspired by it. Fuck.
*runs for cover*
I think I might be a possibility. Just possibly, I might.
Particularly on motherfuckin’booze night.
There’s an epic poem in you, Chicken. Does that make you feel bloated?
It was an inspirational post I’m afraid. The word “possibility” gets thrown around a lot and you really broke it open and shook out some of the beautiful stuff that word can really mean, meaning “anything can happen.” Which should always include screenplays, babies and Hawaii. Monday, I had a conversation with a friend about parallel universes — the scientific physics kind not the new-age bullshit kind — which says if something could be either thing (the penny could be under this shell, or it could be under this one) then, in that moment, it is under both. Two distinct universes have been created to encompass both options. Imagine how many universes you create when you let go of your opinions, judgments and predictions about EVERYTHING, not just about a couple of shells. (I misread the last paragraph at first to say “Do you know how many possible INFANTS there are in 2011?” Not a joke — I thought that was profound — what bigger possibility is there then the potential for a new human. Then you wrote you’d had 72 of them already and I thought that meant you’d had sex 72 times since Saturday. That would be 18 times a day. No wonder she’s so optimistic, I thought).
Is sex 18 times a day possible?
Dear God I hope not. That’s a little intimidating even for Sting.
See the Ron Jeremy documentary. Also, it probably is possible, but there would be ram-ifications.
Given the scientific advancements in erectile and lubrication technology, I’d have to say yes. You’d need to be and ultra-marathoner, or taking some serious performance enhancing drugs to pull it off though.
You just said “pull it off” he sniggers, before returning to reading his comic book.
totes inspirational. i need that kind of thinking right now. i’ve been living in self-created abyss of melancholy and the infinite sadness for the past few months and i can’t keep on with that type of attitude. new year, new possibilities. i like it. now i just need to convince my negative, shit-eating brain to like it too.
Let me know if you figure that one out! Convincing the biochemistry to follow what the book-wisdom of the spirit is a bitch. What have you tried so far…
typo in there, sorry. extra “what.” use it to say “what the F?”
From one possibility to another, *thank you for being motherfuckingawesome fist bumps*!
Aw, El. Thanks for the shellfish shoutout (are mollusks shellfish? Never mind, I’m only in it for the alliteration)…
I’m gonna come back to this post in my low moments. I am. You can’t stop me. Inspiring bitch.
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